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On New Year’s Eve my daughter had a melt-down because something went wrong with her months-long plan to make New Years a little fun despite the terrible year being closed out and the loneliness she’s experiencing that is accentuated by things like Halloween and New Year’s Eve. 1/
It was a BIG meltdown that involved screaming.
When I tried to comfort her and get her to calm down, she yelled repeatedly “you’re not helping!”
2/
When I tried to comfort her and get her to calm down, she yelled repeatedly “you’re not helping!”
2/
Because some people both on my street and on the street behind (note - I know most of the people on my street but not the street behind) were outside - *the meltdown was *at midnight* - 3/
She was audible -we were inside, but she was yelling that loudly.
Someone called the cops. It’s the first time in my adulthood I’ve had the cops called to my house and seeing 5 (five!) of them banging on my door and looking in my windows with flashlights filled me with terror. 4/
Someone called the cops. It’s the first time in my adulthood I’ve had the cops called to my house and seeing 5 (five!) of them banging on my door and looking in my windows with flashlights filled me with terror. 4/
I told her to stay upstairs out of the way and answered the door. They said they were told someone was screaming for help in my house could they search for occupants. I told them it was my daughter and explained. They wanted to interview her and did. 5/
Then they insisted on searching the house anyway.
Happily I do not do any illegal drugs nor do I own a gun.
But the depth of my fear of the police - while I knew nothing wrong was done - is deep. 6/
Happily I do not do any illegal drugs nor do I own a gun.
But the depth of my fear of the police - while I knew nothing wrong was done - is deep. 6/
And I believe it is justified and if you don’t I think you are missing everything about the US.
Now I live knowing that they ID my house as “trouble”.
My life is permanently a little more uneasy because of that innocent event. 7/
Now I live knowing that they ID my house as “trouble”.
My life is permanently a little more uneasy because of that innocent event. 7/
Someone asked about the “insisted on searching”. I could have demanded a warrant. They wanted to check if anyone else was here that might have been the one yelling. The calculation of challenging them for a warrant is one I did quickly and decided not to pursue. 8/
In a lot of people’s lives this might be a non-event. Or a little story to tell their friends.
It might turn out that way in my life. Probably will. But it will also be a moment that gave me fear and stress at a different level than a lot of others would have experienced. 9/
It might turn out that way in my life. Probably will. But it will also be a moment that gave me fear and stress at a different level than a lot of others would have experienced. 9/
My daughter and I went on to redo New Year’s the next night. She was fine with that outcome - it’s all good.
But the relationship someone like me - who is as law-abiding as the most “law-abiding citizen” out there - has with policing in this country is contrary 10/
But the relationship someone like me - who is as law-abiding as the most “law-abiding citizen” out there - has with policing in this country is contrary 10/
To everything right wingers (and GOP) have claimed they stand for - for DECADES - and what the US overall has claimed it stands for forever.
This is part of why when white people try to differentiate Trumpism from non- or pre-Trump GOP, 11/
This is part of why when white people try to differentiate Trumpism from non- or pre-Trump GOP, 11/
Or when they try to separate out GOP from “America” and “who we are” I get agitated.
This has *always* been an underlying gap that only those actively hiding from the truth can miss:
12/
This has *always* been an underlying gap that only those actively hiding from the truth can miss:
12/
It has NEVER been true that “who we are” applied to me. No matter how properly I behave, no matter how law-abiding I am, I know there’s a difference among Americans and how law enforcement works. 13/
When I was in college my car was impounded when I was stopped for speeding because I had a bag of seaweed that “might have been hiding drugs”. I was left on the side of the highway at night - miles from any town - pre-cell-phone. 14/
I’ve been followed in “nice” store after store while shopping.
It’s little things like this - I don’t have to be shot to know I’m looked at differently.
Anyway. The end.
It’s little things like this - I don’t have to be shot to know I’m looked at differently.
Anyway. The end.
Note. The poor thing was not even yelling at me but at herself. https://mobile.twitter.com/eminently_me5/status/1347280802829234178
