Sometimes memories of working in the office before Chinese lung herpes surface in my mind as yell at spreadsheets in basketball shorts at home instead of a shirt & tie at the office

Like a coworker showing people pics & videos of her vacation months after the fact, or the lady one of my bosses (also a lady) made out with at a holiday party - thus leading to me and a few others forever cracking "how does Indian food taste like?" jokes since

One time I did a spit take cause a coworker of mine I'm rather fond of waiting for me to take a sip of coffee and he blurted out 'curry in a hurry'

It wasn't all doom and gloom or Office Space flashbacks

https://mobile.twitter.com/718Tv/status/1344491294970638336

Quarterly budget meetings via PowerPoint presentations no one paid attention to cause I'm not a young go-getter who can be molded in the image of someone missing something inside. And I have a face for radio so I can't sleep my way to the top, either

Those who did get to the top by wearing old women like feed bags, dole out hot foaming beef injections to married women or spread their legs for gross dudes with gutsack stomachs whose family resents him - I wonder how they've offloaded work via telecommuting these past months

I remember a receptionist who was super flirty and friendly to a guy I worked with. Hounded him relentlessly, complete with eyeing his junk and looking for excuses to touch him or be near him

He asked her out, was written up by HR and she acted like none of that ever happened

I guess I'm a little surprised how much reading I got done sitting on a train an hour each way, five days a week, to and from work

However I don't miss how 5 minutes in the morning cam make or break everything like a train car either being empty or packed

I used to eat lunch and read afterwards on my break in the stairwell cause it was the only place I could have peace and quiet

It took a few years for some coworkers to finally stop calling it 'weird' to my face. I'm sure they had more colorful things to say behind my back

It was always weird to see that Indian lady who was placating the nappy dugout of my boss doing close to nothing other than get yelled at by people above her & gossiping with the owner of said nappy dugout

She worked in the finance department according to the company directory

I remember said Indian lady, who by all accounts was a really attractive reptile with a nice hairdo, muttered the word 'shit' under her breath when she passed me in the hallway once

Someone with the same first name as me was fired that day. Always wondered what that was about

People assumed I was seeing someone cause clearly a man microwaving food he cooked at some earlier point in time is as out of place as a submarine screen door. Someone else had to have cooked that for him, right?

And then came "I thought he was gay" comments if I met someone I was seeing outside my building after work cause I never flirted with female coworkers or gave a lingering gaze when they did things for attention, both the ugly and pretty ones

There used to be this young man, Carlo, in a work/study program through his school and was in the IT department. Cause he lived at home, he used to bring the most banging Italian food ever

I miss trading tupperwares full of delicious goods with him like we were backallley goons

An office is where you will see the most petty, backbiting, passive aggressive nonsense between adults who have no qualms throwing someone they've known for over a decade under the bus for things less than a promotion or raise. Less

After 5 PM, when the 100 meter dash kicked off to get home - I'd sometimes stay late and print out books on the industrial strength printer in the mail room, punch holes and binder them

Here are a few:

Once at a company Christmas party, a woman who'd have bi-polar spells of ignoring me then going out of her way to talk to me asked

"If you were hitting on me, what would you say?"

'I'm sorry, but you're not my type'

Imagine being in HR and hearing her frame this as an 'attack'

Every day at 5PM, countless people rushing to leave bad screen at work so they can sit in front of good screen at home

In some ways, I miss it. But just cause you get used to something doesnt make it healthy. Just look at crackhead, or vegetarians