This thread has a lot of good strategies for coping with a hard moment. I want to speak to parents now, especially parents of young children. Today was big and scary, and as a grownup I feel both angry and scared. Children, even babies, carry stress too...1/ https://twitter.com/megspeck/status/1346983713230311429

Our feelings act as messengers, telling us what we need. If you or your child is feeling scared, anxious, insignificant, overwhelmed or bewildered, then it may help to acknowledge our body feels danger and needs protection, support or reassurance.

Some caregivers and littles may be feeling angry, hurt, frustrated, distant, or even sarcastic. Their bodies are saying there has been a violation and limits need to be set or reset, as well as establishing or re-establishing boundaries. Sometimes with the mad feelings...

We need to get them out of our bodies. Is it safe to go outside and run or throw a ball? Can you stomp like a dinosaur or pound on a pillow? Can you take a towel in each of your hands twist it tight then pull it apart until you feel it in your arms?

And some caregivers and littles might be feeling sad, ashamed, tired, inferior, isolated or apathetic. This tells our bodies there is a loss, and we need comfort, space, and support to grieve and or let go.

So how do you as a parent support a little when you are feeling big things too? You acknowledge what you feel and give space for what the little feels. Your littles might be clingy or fussy, and if you are able can you hold them? Maybe you can read a story, or blow bubbles...

Or bake something together. Playdough is good because you have big sensory experience with it. Maybe you draw together. You remind them that you are there, and you are doing everything you can to keep them safe. You remind them they are loved and adored....

Cosmic kids yoga on you tube has great yoga activities if that is your jam. Can you pretend to hold a cup of hot cocoa, and breathe in the smell of it deeply, then breathe out from your mouth slowly to pretend to cool it down? Do that 5-10 times to help your body regulate....

For littles to process and move through big events they have to:
Regulate first Relate to a loved one second Reason through the event last. And this is also true for caregivers. Have you eaten enough today...

Have you stretched today? Drank enough water, moved your body? Have you had a moment of connection with someone you love?? Been supported or care for, even for a moment? You are just as important as your little, your self care matters. You matter.

Lastly, if you think your child would benefit from mental health resources, please leave a comment and I will try to connect you to a play therapist or Infant Mental Health Specialist if there is on in your area.

Okay this is the last thing, when faced with adverse experiences the building blocks to resilience are: connection and engagement to others, good sleep, good nutrition, exercise, mindfulness activities, and mental health support.

Very last thing, my knowledge of stress responses and feelings as messengers comes from the work of Connie Lillas and the NeuroRelational Framework (NRF).