It stresses me out at how normalised extreme sexual dynamics are on TikTok, especially with young, queer people. All sexual and non-sexual experiences are valid but please don’t think you are “boring” or “vanilla” if you don’t like being choked.

I feel like lately young, impressionable people are being exposed to certain sexual acts and dynamics without any of the crucial education around consent and safety. The aggressive categorisation of queer people into binaries such as top/bottom is also very damaging.

People discuss sex and sexual preferences far more openly nowadays, and it is good to normalise these things but it does uphold a dangerous social standard of hypersexualisation which is often veiled as being “sex positive”. These aren’t the same things.

We have literal kids feeling abnormal/wrong for not being hypersexual, or not fulfilling the expected paradigms of a label. Particularly among queer influencers, entire personalities and content are centred around being a top/bottom/switch and it isolates a huge number of people.

On a final note - it is NEVER okay to ask an influencer what sexual “role” they play, and even less so assign them a role based on their presentation/personality/anything else. Just don’t do it.