According to legend, Pythagoras was killed by his belief that beans are people.

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If you think of Pythagoras, you probably picture an old guy with a beard in a tunic, likely gazing at a triangle and possibly cranking one out.

The philosopher is often credited for many scientific and mathematical discoveries, from identifying the morning and evening stars as Venus (wrongly) to the one that irritated you for years: Pythagorean Theorem.

He was also, to be fair to him, a pie.

Pythagoras had some pretty strange beliefs, even for his time.

You probably weren't taught in math that he ran a commune that forbade followers from wearing wool, and forced them to put on the right sandal before the left. It would have slowed down the class somewhat if all of his children wanted to know his thoughts on flip-flops.

The best part of his beliefs, however, related to beans.

Pythagoras, you see, believed that when you die, your soul gets transferred into another animal. Though we don't know for sure, it's claimed that he stopped eating meat in order to prevent that ever so awkward scenario of accidentally eating a dead fucking colleague.

Old Triangles didn't only believe that, he also believed that humans and beans come from the same source – why not – and decided to conduct an experiment to prove it.

He got a bunch of beans and buried them, not noticing how this is rarely done to humans, and waited for them to grow for a few weeks. When he dug them up again, he noted that they looked a bit like human fetuses.

Satisfied with his experimental design, and not even bothering to try burying a human, he concluded that eating beans would basically be like cannibalism, and forbade his commune from eating them. To Pythagoras and his followers, beans could contain the souls of the dead.

Smashing or crushing a bean counted as murder, even if you don't go as far as ramming the corpses in your mouth, maybe in a nice tomato sauce.

Essentially his views make you eating refried beans a figure on par with Hannibal Lecter (who famously also ate beans), and your 5-year-old someone who dines exclusively on the flesh and souls of humans.

The philosopher, according to legend, even took the time out of his busy schedule to explain to an ox that it should never eat beans again, while the herdsmen looked on and giggled, before being surprised later on when the ox stopped eating beans.

Sensible stuff I'm sure you'll agree, though I don't know why I expected better from someone whose biggest achievement was basic GCSE fucking maths.

According to legend his belief, while definitely something that at best case scenario would get you the reaction "what the fuck are you talking about you fucking bean, they're fucking beans", ended up leading to his demise.

A son of a nobleman named Kylon attempted to get into Pythagoras's bean cult (come for the lack of beans, stay for the triangles) but was rejected for his unwillingness to abide by the training rules, involving 5 years of silence before you even get to the triangles.

Naturally, Kylon formed a mob (look, this is just how things were done back then) in order to attack Pythagoras and burn the commune's buildings.

As they fled, the mob would stab them to death, but Pythagoras managed to escape the mob thanks to his friends, who formed a human bridge to get him out of the buildings.

Unfortunately, as he fled the worst happened: His path took him right into a bean field.

Refusing to trample through the field, committing genocide like Beanzilla, Pythagoras stood there and was stabbed to death.

I like to think his final thought as he was stabbed to death was "this crime is so heinous it's on par with forking a bean".