dream smp roleplay

hello fellas. this is gonna be a long ass essay analyzing tommy’s character development, so get comfy >:)

tommy’s character develops throughout the entirety of season 2, but it’s hard to notice because his development circles around lingering trauma

and the threat of becoming someone he’s afraid of. to cope with this, he turns to what is familiar and deliberately represses his thoughts and behaviors, striving to appear as if he’s still the “same guy”

in reality, he’s been exiled, he’s been manipulated, he’s had his relationships and perspective on others and life and *himself* change, and he’s SCARED of it

from an outsider’s PoV, it appears as if tommy’s character stays the same. after all, he’s still loud, abrasive,

arrogant, self-assured, and single minded.

but the thing is, whereas before they where genuine traits that kept him alive during the war, now they are *coping behaviors* he turns to when he is met with uncertainty.

after all, these behaviors have reliably worked in the past

during the first and second war. he turns to them now when he’s lost and afraid- hypes himself up as right, persuades himself out of the scary new to be more like the reliable past, regardless of whether or not he Actually has the same level of conviction (usually, he doesn’t)

but, again, what appears to not change externally definitely changes behind the scenes. and what fears is tommy trying to persuade himself out of?

a lot of it’s from the exile arc. tommy LOSING his spirit and constantly fighting to gain his “pep” back- fake it until you make it.

cw manipulation mention

this isn’t surprising. at this point, he’s trying to process

1) why am i alone? did tubbo leave me for dead? i have faith in him, but... does he hate me?

2) is dream my friend? he says he is, but he constantly strips me of my security and independence.

3) am i.. becoming like wilbur? but no, wilbur was selfish and hurt the people around him. *i* was hurt by wilbur and i still hear his words in my sleep (this is canon). but. am i doing that...? am i a bad guy?

obviously, these are all incredibly heavy questions he *doesn’t know the answer* to. they are new. they are uncertain. they are *painful*.

so he does what he can do- he shuts them down before they hurt him and emulates his wit and humor and “pep” instead- evident in

how tommy used to constantly cut himself off whenever he verbally pondered the nature of his and dream’s relationship.

but he isn’t *always* resistant to change. it’s a slow pace with plenty of steps backwards (because ~repression~), but he DOES regret and he DOES learn.

for one, his perspective on technoblade changes.

tommy has realized and understood, “hey. techno is a person too. he took me in when i needed it. he has feelings.”

not EVERYTHING shifts. tommy still wants l’manberg to stand because he primarily views l’manberg as a home culture

as opposed to a govt. unfortunately, this one critical difference remaining ultimately ended in betrayal.

nonetheless, you can note that tommy calls him “techno(blade)” over “the blade.” at the very least, he said “sorry” before siding with tubbo. he *knows* he’s hurting someone

(QUICK SIDE NOTE: i Very Much blame the circumstance, panic, and pressure for his decision. ykno... 16, standing in front of a nation that exiled you, fighting your *ex-manipulator*. as we’ve seen, tommy latches onto the familiar when he’s uncertain: in this case, tubbo.)

most notably, tommy changes when it (no surprise) comes to TUBBO.

his emotion-driven words in the heat of battle cut deep and could’ve completely broken their friendship on the spot, and tommy realized that. he apologizes to tubbo, sincerely and wholeheartedly for

the first time on screen to anyone, in a (probably) very, very long time

he also gives up the discs. even if it’s a temporary decision, he *realizes* that they are not worth more than his closest friend

confusion and chaos may cause this to change later, but for now it is true.

tommy’s character later reflects on this as well, with “i turned into the person i didn’t wanna be” (in reference to wilbur hurting those he loves)

and “no matter how shitty of a time i’m going through, it doesn’t excuse my actions. ...there are no discs to play”

tl;dr - tommy’s character has the same behaviors, but rather than being static, it’s because his character *deliberately* clings onto the old and familiar because he misses the clearer past and is *afraid* of who he will become otherwise. ironically, this in itself IS change.

even then, he is learning and changing because of trauma influencing his self image and life perspective, because of bonding with new people, and because he Finally realizes, “oh fuck, i’m going to lose someone because of this”

i may not be an apologist (in that i will not defend All of his actions as reasonable or just) but God Damn will i defend this roleplay character and his perspective until the day he dies