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Writing my book wasn't the end at all. It was the beginning of my brexit nightmare which has continued since the vote. In 2017 I was fired from my 40k job because the boss said 'You don't seem happy so best you leave' after he hired an English woman who started taking over my job
After months of depression &unable to find a job regardless of years of experience the DWP man refused to prolong by 1 month Jobseeker Allowance. He called and told me to prove my 5 years back in residence without the need for it. He said: Complain to your MP if you don't like it
I decided to write my book and self-publish it as it was my only hope for income after living on £2 a day in poverty & antidepressants that kept me alive as I once liked the look of the knife on the kitchen table. But the DWP man sent me a letter that since I haven't found a job
I no longer have the right to live and work in this country. It was my 'Fuck off from this country you Polish vermin' goodbye letter from DWP, after 13 years of working hard in this country, trying to fucking fit in which I obviously failed at massively. Did I give up? Oh, no.
I never give up & never let injustice take over my life. I complained that I as a Polish national in the UK was discriminated and don't need to leave the country because a racist from DWP told me so and didn't consider my new self-employed business as a good enough job for him.
In that month, waiting for a decision to prolong my Jobseeker Allowance before I start my business I had zero income. I was forced to go foodbanks in churches, together with homeless people where I was welcomed by lovely older ladies that gave me tea and cake and bags of food.
The humiliation to go there was huge. But I had to swallow my pride and ask for help because this country failed me more than any time before in my years in England. I was grateful for their help and cried at the end, saying one day I come with my books and sign them for them.
Foodbanks helped me survive for that month and my complaint against DWP man was accepted. I got a back payment of 1 month Jobseeker Allowance and i now published my book on Amazon. I was so poor, I couldn't even order my first book. My friend ordered the first copy for himself.
The feeling I couldn't even afford to order my first print copy from Amazon to hold it in my hand was painful but I still believed I could do it. I still believed publishing my life story will be life saving for me and hopefully inspiring for others. I was told I was crazy.
I knew nothing about self-publishing. I had never written a book. I had no social media followers. I had a few friends. To hope to build a business based on that was insane in others' mind. Some friends told me to forget it, get a proper job. I lost a few friends who were envious
But I kept going and sales on Amazon started coming in, one day after another. Enough for me to survive, to pay bills. I could finally print my own copy of the book and cried when I received it. It was my life in there and it saved my life now. I knew I had a mission in life now
I knew that inspiring others with my story was what I was meant to do. I believed from the moment I started writing my book. I wrote every day for a month, walks in Windsor Park in the morning, writing in the afternoon. What helped me pour my heart out was wine. Yesss. And music.
When I started writing my book, words just magically came out to the keyboard. They kept going and I couldn't stop. I cried all the time writing it. Every day, for a month. When I got stuck, because I knew what was going to happen, I went to the kitchen, I cried and knew I had to
I knew I had to keep going, even though writing about the most painful experiences of my life was an agony. But I conquered my pain, I wrote it and when I finished my book I knew I was healed. I was a different person. I transformed. My book healed my life & turned me into me now
Since publishing my book in 2018, I have sold over 40,000 copies in English ( I wrote my book in my second language, yes I know pretty incredible I must admit!) And in Polish ( yes I translated my book myself with great pain. Polish isn't easy!! :) It is my success story now.
So if you are reading my book now, now you can see my story of perseverance in the UK, following my English Dream, is not all. I have proven over and over again that you simply cannot give up. That life throws trees under your feet but you have to fight for yourself & justice.
