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During my second year of medical school, I rotated through the trauma surgery department at one of Boston's most prestigious hospitals.
In my first two weeks, I met some exceptional residents and got to scrub into awesome cases.
But everything changed one week later.
1/
In my first two weeks, I met some exceptional residents and got to scrub into awesome cases.
But everything changed one week later.
1/
A new intern and resident joined the team.
I always looked forward to meeting the medical trainees, since I often thought about becoming a trauma surgeon. They were role models in my eyes.
Slowly, though, they proved me wrong.
2/
I always looked forward to meeting the medical trainees, since I often thought about becoming a trauma surgeon. They were role models in my eyes.
Slowly, though, they proved me wrong.
2/
It started at the end of an OR case, when the resident had her "downtime."
"What are your plans after residency?" I asked. No answer. I then asked a more casual question. Still no answer.
Sensing the awkwardness in the room, the scrub tech asked me about my interests.
3/
"What are your plans after residency?" I asked. No answer. I then asked a more casual question. Still no answer.
Sensing the awkwardness in the room, the scrub tech asked me about my interests.
3/
At 5 AM the next day, I rounded with the team. We visited about 20 patients that morning, but none knew my role or name.
The resident only introduced herself and the intern before quickly examining the patient. We were short on time, I told myself, it made sense.
4/
The resident only introduced herself and the intern before quickly examining the patient. We were short on time, I told myself, it made sense.
4/
Later that day, we again rounded on our patients when the senior resident received a page for an acute trauma. "Here we go!" I thought. Instead of asking me to join, she told me to stay on the floor.
With little exposure, I could hardly envision myself as a surgeon anymore.
5/
With little exposure, I could hardly envision myself as a surgeon anymore.
5/
After a nearly 14 hour shift, I headed to the conference room to sign-out our patients to the night team.
The resident came in a bit late and sat down next to me.
"You can't sit here," she said without looking over at me.
6/
The resident came in a bit late and sat down next to me.
"You can't sit here," she said without looking over at me.
6/
Confused, I looked directly at her and froze. She would not make eye contact with me.
"It's part of our culture. You have to sit in the back."
The table, large enough to seat 20, had 14 empty seats. For over 2 weeks, I had religiously signed out patients with the intern.
7/
"It's part of our culture. You have to sit in the back."
The table, large enough to seat 20, had 14 empty seats. For over 2 weeks, I had religiously signed out patients with the intern.
7/
I stood up. Two interns & nurses remained silent, as did I. I wanted to say something, but fear of retaliation stopped me. This is the field I thought I would pursue. I didn't want to be ousted.
I walked to the back of the room and held back tears of anger and embarrassment.
8/
I walked to the back of the room and held back tears of anger and embarrassment.
8/
Exhausted, I headed home and opened my laptop.
In it, I typed, "Haven't felt like a true minority up until this point; if this is how [these] residents are, I don't want to work here."
9/
In it, I typed, "Haven't felt like a true minority up until this point; if this is how [these] residents are, I don't want to work here."
9/
One can only speculate the reasons for her actions.
Of course, as the only person of color on that team, I considered racism. Of course, as a medical student in training, I considered burnout. Of course, as a human being, I considered misplaced anger and pain.
10/
Of course, as the only person of color on that team, I considered racism. Of course, as a medical student in training, I considered burnout. Of course, as a human being, I considered misplaced anger and pain.
10/
Regardless of the reason, it happened when it should not have.
Neglecting and excluding medical students should not be part of anyone's "culture", and if it is, we must work to root it out.
Respect your subordinates and treat them with dignity.
I know I will.
11/
Neglecting and excluding medical students should not be part of anyone's "culture", and if it is, we must work to root it out.
Respect your subordinates and treat them with dignity.
I know I will.
11/
Thread inspired by recent tweets from @ChaseTMAnderson & @colleenmfarrell.
Thank you both for nudging me to reflect
inspired by recent tweets from @ChaseTMAnderson & @colleenmfarrell. Thank you both for nudging me to reflect
