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One thing I hear a lot from people recovering from cPTSD is that they didn't realize how much it had hurt them until their life got stable. When we're focusing on survival, we can't deal with trauma, but once things go well, that's a really important step for recovery.
The reason is that once things are stable, you can slow down. And once you slow down, you realize that those thoughts didn't go away just because your current stressors did. They're still there.
And that makes you feel broken.
And that makes you feel broken.
"Things are going great for me, but I just can't seem to be happy."
"I have so much in my life, but I'm so sad."
"What's wrong with me?"
It sucks. Because your body is telling you that something is still hurting, but the cause is in the past.
"I have so much in my life, but I'm so sad."
"What's wrong with me?"
It sucks. Because your body is telling you that something is still hurting, but the cause is in the past.
It's a normal part of healing. Your body is telling you that it needs your help to deal with the source of your pain, but you just want a relief, a reprieve. You've struggled for so long, haven't you earned a break in your suffering?
And it sucks, because you so have, but the journey isn't over. You have to deal with it. And it will be hard and unpleasant and at times the future will look so dark. But until you deal with it, your body will be pleading with you to pay attention, and show it compassion.
Accepting that something happened to you that hurt you helps. Showing yourself kindness helps. Getting support, connecting with yourself, finding out your needs, establishing boundaries, all help. And those things will lead you to be a stronger person.
And in time, you'll start to develop a healthier relationship with yourself, and learn to give yourself the things you were denied. So even when struggles arise, you'll have those coping tools to help you through.
Healing from cPTSD is a lifelong journey, and it will ebb and flow, and I'm sorry you have to follow this path as well. It's hard for me to say 'it'll get better', because I don't always feel that's true.
But you'll get better. And you're worth the effort. #KeepInMind
But you'll get better. And you're worth the effort. #KeepInMind
