This is referring to "Bean Dad". I appreciate this a lot. Men, and white people in particular, need to commit more to helping each other grow instead of making excuses for each other. We hurt each other too. And the defensiveness and lack of self-awareness is a real problem. https://twitter.com/hodgman/status/1346460095908110338

It's also worth taking a moment to make something clear. We all will have our moments where we show ourselves to be problematic. We should not be expecting people's friends to abandon them in these moments. Your friends help you get through it. https://twitter.com/hodgman/status/1346460105332707334?s=20

We should be asking ourselves what is our responsibility to our friends when they fuck up. It is *not* to defend them at all costs. That is a disservice to them and we have to be more grown up than that. We should be the friend who can hold them accountable when others can't.

FWIW, I believe Roderick's apology. I believe he's not a terrible dad. It doesn't change much for me about what I said here. It validates my feeling that the whole thing was embellished. And it makes the underlying issue I described stand out more. https://twitter.com/polotek/status/1345814591909941248?s=20

You don't have to be a terrible person in order for your privileged conditioning and lack of self-awareness to make the world around you more terrible. That's the whole point.