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It will probably get drowned out because it's a big news week, but I wanted to share a moment I had as a white ally in a POC space where I encountered my own #WhiteFragility, as a reminder that it can happen to all white folks as we engage in uncomfortable discussions.
I had to find a pic of folks from a specific African community for a project. I specifically stayed away from poverty porn, and saw this nice photo of a family being handed something. I put it on a poster and sent it out for feedback.
A POC-colleague called this out as poverty porn and I was astonished at the intensity of my defensiveness. I was actively trying to be respectful of the community and had thought I found a nice family pic. I was upset at the implied notion that I had perpetuated racism, bc
it was not my intent. After I cooled down, I decided to ask my colleague why the photo was poverty porn so I could avoid it in the future. She pointed out the object they are being handed is an immunization. I had no idea that's what it was! I apologized, and found another pic.
I'm so glad I took this as an opportunity to learn from POC - I had no idea what I was implying! At the same time, I had to face my initial defensiveness and #whitefragility when my first instinct was defensiveness. It was my first encounter with such things.
Hearing you're perpetuating racism is hard, especially if you're in a context where you are actively trying to be anti-racist. But it's so, so, important to take time to let emotions settle and then learn how to be a better ally. It's the work we must do as white folks.
I debated not sharing this because I don't want people to perceive me as racist, but I am in a racist society and as a white person I hold power. I decided sharing my experience of allyship was more important than my pride, in case other white folks encounter the same.
