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Things I Learned From Almost Irrevocably Losing My Voice:
I had a really wonderful coaching with someone this past weekend and it made me grateful for how far I’ve come in how I treat my voice and how I work with new people. I don’t think a lot of my opera twitter friends know
I had a really wonderful coaching with someone this past weekend and it made me grateful for how far I’ve come in how I treat my voice and how I work with new people. I don’t think a lot of my opera twitter friends know
That in 2016, when I graduated with my masters, my voice was almost totally gone. I couldn’t sing an F at the top of the staff, my intonation was horribly flat AND sharp, and I had a tremolo vibrato that made me sound like the demonic offspring of a goat and Snow White
I didn’t want to work with a teacher at that point, so I grabbed a mirror, the Lamperti vocal wisdom, and Dosscher’s FUotSV, and I tried to confront my issues by staring them (literally, me) in the face. And it worked! I very slowly started learning what to really look for
And WHY I needed to look for it. I sang the first 2 Vaccai exercises and Ma rendi pur contento for about 6 months straight.
The biggest thing I’ve learned and am very much still learning is that the “oh just keep working slowly and making sure you’re physically doing it correctly and then the muscle memory will kick in and you’ll be able to resolve the issue”
Which is very sound advice! I’m not knocking that concept at all. But if your voice is DECIMATED. Like- just completely trashed. I guaran-fucking-tee it’s more than just bad physical habits.
Humans have startle reflexes. When u perceive a threat, your brain involuntarily reacts by sending synapses in 3 pathways through your body (just google it) and it activates your facial motor nucleus and spinal chord, creating tension.
If you’ve been with a teacher who manipulates or abuses you (and unfortunately there are a lot of us!) this defense mechanism comes into play. If you’re unduly hard on yourself, your OWN MENTAL CRITIQUES WILL CAUSE THIS REFLEX!
So when you’re trying to rebuild your voice, or even to just break a bad habit, it’s not just muscle memory. You need to retrain your brain in how it responds to stimuli-internally and externally. And that takes so much goddamn time. It took me a year before I was even
Confident enough to start working on things other than just rebuilding a foundation. That startle reflex was a permanent presence when I sang. When I thought about singing. When I looked at sheet music. When I listened to other singers! It takes time.
This is why now, maybe I practice less than I used to, but it’s why I harp on do much about being happy or neutral when you go in to practice. I can’t control events or emotions I’m feeling during a performance, but I am confident and strong enough now that it doesn’t affect me
Anymore- bc the majority of the time when I’m singing, no one is telling me i sound like shit, and I’m kind to myself. This isn’t like, a big grand thread. Just some rambling. Anyway be nice to yourself and be nice to others!
Also the idea that you need a teacher to break u down or belittle u is BS. The work I did the other day was detailed and nitty gritty and they were super fucking nice. Find people to work with who expect A LOT from you- who push you incredibly far! but are fucking NICE.
