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FPL STATS OF SHITHOUSERY ππππ πππ‘π
Follow. The. Points.
Who has done well? Who has done badly?
Monkey pours over EIGHT weeks of stats to tell you what to do next*
ALL DATA FROM GWs 10-17
Letβs dive the fuck in.
*randomly insult people
Follow. The. Points.
Who has done well? Who has done badly?
Monkey pours over EIGHT weeks of stats to tell you what to do next*
ALL DATA FROM GWs 10-17
Letβs dive the fuck in.
*randomly insult people
THE FUCKING CHANCERS
Chances Created/Big Chances
Grealish 34/5 β Calves of Adonis, Heels of Achilles
Bruno 26/5 β Living rent free in Kloppβs head
Mount 23/4 β I assume this is a typo
KDB 22/9 β Go big or go home
Raphina 19/3 β Attack, attack, attack!
Chances Created/Big Chances
Grealish 34/5 β Calves of Adonis, Heels of Achilles
Bruno 26/5 β Living rent free in Kloppβs head
Mount 23/4 β I assume this is a typo
KDB 22/9 β Go big or go home
Raphina 19/3 β Attack, attack, attack!
TOUCHING UP THE BOX LIKE
Mane 67 β Livinβ in a Box
Salah 52 β A Cardboard Box
Watkins 51 β Has found his campsite, but still canβt pitch the tent
Sterling 49 β A really expensive Neto. Like M&S basically, nobody young goes there.
Rashford 47 β Fucking Box Office
Mane 67 β Livinβ in a Box
Salah 52 β A Cardboard Box
Watkins 51 β Has found his campsite, but still canβt pitch the tent
Sterling 49 β A really expensive Neto. Like M&S basically, nobody young goes there.
Rashford 47 β Fucking Box Office
DRIBBLING LITTLE BABAS
Dribbles/Success rate
Traore β 30/64%
Pulisic β 27/51%
Rashford β 24/51%
Podence β 24/64%
Grealish β 23/70%
Solly fucking March β 21/66%
Donβt really have anything witty to add here.
Bissouma has a success rate of 82% by the way.
Fully weaned.
Dribbles/Success rate
Traore β 30/64%
Pulisic β 27/51%
Rashford β 24/51%
Podence β 24/64%
Grealish β 23/70%
Solly fucking March β 21/66%
Donβt really have anything witty to add here.
Bissouma has a success rate of 82% by the way.
Fully weaned.
ARIEL DUELS LOST
Basically, who canβt head for shit.
Holding β 25 β BUT WHEN LUCY BUYS HIM BE BECOMES FRANZ BECKENBAUER
Fofana β 24 β Like a little Lego man who is missing a piece
Furlong β 23 β I donβt think anyone is surprised to see him in here
Egan/Ampadu β 19 β Or them
Basically, who canβt head for shit.
Holding β 25 β BUT WHEN LUCY BUYS HIM BE BECOMES FRANZ BECKENBAUER
Fofana β 24 β Like a little Lego man who is missing a piece
Furlong β 23 β I donβt think anyone is surprised to see him in here
Egan/Ampadu β 19 β Or them
SHOOOOTS FIRED
(strikers)
Bamford β 31 β More action than a Paddy field
Watkins β 25 β Like a mole with a machine gun
Kane β 23 β Eats, shoots and leaves
Benteke β 21 β Wait what
Vardy β 20 β Nobody wants a party any more Jamie. And for FUCKS sake donβt invite Kyle Walker
(strikers)
Bamford β 31 β More action than a Paddy field
Watkins β 25 β Like a mole with a machine gun
Kane β 23 β Eats, shoots and leaves
Benteke β 21 β Wait what
Vardy β 20 β Nobody wants a party any more Jamie. And for FUCKS sake donβt invite Kyle Walker
THE DECONVERTORS
Players whoβve had more than 10 chances in the past 8 weeks and scored NADIR
Watkins 25
Werner 18
Mount 12
Benrahma 11
Solly fucking March 10
Webster 10
Trossard 10
Woah Brighton⦠do we need an intervention here?
Players whoβve had more than 10 chances in the past 8 weeks and scored NADIR
Watkins 25
Werner 18
Mount 12
Benrahma 11
Solly fucking March 10
Webster 10
Trossard 10
Woah Brighton⦠do we need an intervention here?
THE FUCKING MARKSMAN
Players whoβve had more than 10 chances
(shots/accuracy)
El Ghazi 27 β 60%
Rashford 24 β 45%
Salah 20 β 55%
Firmino 20 β 52%
Martial 17 β 53%
Lacazette 14 β 71%
Pool & Utd should have scored more. El Ghazi is the goat and the Laca is THE Punt
Players whoβve had more than 10 chances
(shots/accuracy)
El Ghazi 27 β 60%
Rashford 24 β 45%
Salah 20 β 55%
Firmino 20 β 52%
Martial 17 β 53%
Lacazette 14 β 71%
Pool & Utd should have scored more. El Ghazi is the goat and the Laca is THE Punt
TACKLES LOST
Dallas β 11 β Look, stats are rubbish okay. Donβt sweat it.
Cancelo β 11 β It doesnβt matter that the best FPL assets canβt actually defend okay
Ayling β 10 β I donβt think we can keep blaming Kylie at this point
Lowton β 9 β What? I just bought him? Oh for fuβ¦
Dallas β 11 β Look, stats are rubbish okay. Donβt sweat it.
Cancelo β 11 β It doesnβt matter that the best FPL assets canβt actually defend okay
Ayling β 10 β I donβt think we can keep blaming Kylie at this point
Lowton β 9 β What? I just bought him? Oh for fuβ¦
XXX-G
Bamford β 4.7 β Stop trying to be clever and buying Rodrigo
Bruno β 4.2 β RENT. FREE.
El Ghazi β 4.16 β Yes okay Anwar we get the message
KDB β 3.84 β Iβm not talking to you Kevin
Watkins β 3.69 β Go home Ollie, itβs past your bedtime
Vardy - 3.63 β State of the Union
Bamford β 4.7 β Stop trying to be clever and buying Rodrigo
Bruno β 4.2 β RENT. FREE.
El Ghazi β 4.16 β Yes okay Anwar we get the message
KDB β 3.84 β Iβm not talking to you Kevin
Watkins β 3.69 β Go home Ollie, itβs past your bedtime
Vardy - 3.63 β State of the Union
LETS FUCKING CONCLUDE
Buy El Ghazi. I think thatβs the only real take home here? Everything else is just basically shithousery. Oh and Arsenal canβt defend, unless @lucyhighnett buys their players. In which case, dive the fuck in.
Can she fix the Brighton attack though!!?
HM
Buy El Ghazi. I think thatβs the only real take home here? Everything else is just basically shithousery. Oh and Arsenal canβt defend, unless @lucyhighnett buys their players. In which case, dive the fuck in.
Can she fix the Brighton attack though!!?
HM
