I was reading some comments and posts of Italian cycling amateurs and in 10 seconds I remembered why I prefer 4674618948 times riding alone, way better slower and with more effort than with them

Over the years I developed a character description that I can assure you, it works 95% of the times to avoid the unberable ones.
A thread that if makes you offended, we are not meant to ever ride together

They consider themselves pros and don't realize they couldn’t even resist in the first 50 kms of a flat Tour stage.
Usually they started cycling at a later age buying a 10k black or white bike (they rarely venture in brighter colours), of course most of them can’t solve a flat

They wear only total black looks, at the end it’s almost always Assos, then at the first roundabout a random 70 years old man wearing a Carrera jacket and riding a steel bike overtakes them because they ride top range carbon wheels but take corners with flat feet.

They know everything about watts, vam, ftp, vo2 max but can’t distinguish between a nice, full and fluent pedal stroke and theirs.
Their training schedule? Busier and stricter than an Olympic athlete one, but no one knows what they are training for.

And the best and saddest part: they pick routes accordingly to their training schedules, so on a warm sunny Saturday they could pick a flat route or a boring local climb over idk a ride in the Dolomites because that’s what they need to train. Train for what? Again, no one knows

Last but not least no matter who they meet on the road, they must accelerate and show their dick is bigger,even if at the end Strava exists and yes, a good 50% doesn’t record every ride so they can say“I did half your distance and had way better results”to their less clever mate