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Been thinking about species dysphoria lately. It's something I've had to a painful degree but in recent times it doesn't come off as bad anymore. I've spent a lot of time working on being ok with and coming to terms with the body I have.
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The intensity comes and goes so I might be eating my words in the future. However now it mostly manifests as a distant nostalgic homesickness. That strong feeling of recalling a childhood memory that you swear you could almost touch. Feels a lot like that!
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My take on it has always been spiritual and reincarnation based. So there's a longing homesickness for that life which has been very strong lately; but I just don't struggle as hard with the human and non-human aspect anymore. I'm quite happy with that. Shame it took 13 years!
Whether you think it's spiritual, psychological or you're a skeptic who thinks we're all nuts. I want this to be studied more scientifically. I want new struggling community members to not have to wait 13+ years to maybe resolve it on their own. Teach them to work with it.
When this started in my early teens (that's when I became consciously aware of it), I hated myself and thought of myself as insane. I suffered for years of depression and self-loathing because I refused to accept that side of me. I want for others to not deal with that as I did.
That's why it's hurtful when people imply it's a choice. I wanted nothing to do with it. Despite not being religious I prayed to god out of desperation while crying many nights. Just to please make me normal, please make this go away. I only became better when I stopped resisting
Couldn't tell my parents, my siblings, my friends. I couldn't tell anyone I just had to carry this burden and function. Being a teen is rough enough as is without this on top of it. The day I did come out to my mother my entire body was trembling. I couldn't stop shaking.
I don't think enough attention is given to the struggles of being otherkin/therian, just the memes. Doesn't matter if it's "real". What matters is that the emotional struggles we go through are real enough to affect us. That's why it needs to be taken more seriously.
