i don't know who needs to hear this but getting your feelings hurt doesn't mean you've been abused

continually and repeatedly doing something that you know hurts another's feelings in an attempt to harm, control, or manipulate them *is* abuse. there is a fair line between hurting someone's feelings and abuse- abuse is a cycle, repeated and intentional.

these things can also happen in normal relationships. someone hurts your feelings, apologizes for it, & you move on. they may unintentionally hurt your feelings again, apologize & so on. healthy relationships involve getting hurt and hurting as you learn how to be with each other

e.g. gf expresses feeling hurt when her bf disappears for a long time without communicating. bf apologizes. he gets busy with work/friends, but will put in time to check in more. he forgets to do this and gf is once again upset he disappeared without communicating. he apologizes

maybe this happens until bf fixes this habit, or gf becomes okay with it, or they break up because he can't/doesn't want to change and keeps hurting her. but they both are genuinely trying to be good for each other and are not intentionally trying to harm each other.

abuse would be bf knowing that being gone for hours makes his gf feel hurt & doing so intentionally to control her. if she doesn't let him have sex, he disappears the next day to punish her. or he just disappears for fun to see her in anguish. he makes no effort to change this

action, does it intentionally and repeatedly, but when gf wants to leave the relationship, he will then apologize, make empty promises, and do everything to placate and keep her. and then he will do it again. it becomes a cycle. this is abusive.

I see a lot of people describe normal relationships, break ups, and disagreements as abusive. You can get hurt repeatedly in a relationship. In fact, you often will. Relationships take a lot of compromise, learning, changing, and sacrifice, and these things are hard to do.

but someone failing to be a good SO & failing to do what you want does not make them abusive. someone unintentionally hurting your feelings (especially when they don't even know what they're doing is hurting you) is not abusive. having conflict and disagreement is not abusive

so please, stop describing such situations as abuse. that's genuinely very harmful for all parties involved, especially for victims of abuse. stop throwing around this word if you don't know what it means, and don't use it as a weapon just because you dislike someone.