OK, so since I posted some anti- #Polyamory stuff I should steelman it a bit.

Just look at this picture. Aren't these men the two luckiest men alive?

No?

OK. I'll try harder.

How do I do relationships? I do serial monogamy (perhaps a mistake, but that is what I and many others actually did.)

With serial monogamy, you get sexual variety, which is good. But you also don't get any lifetime relationships.

You date someone, then later you split up because one or both parties thinks they can find someone better. You might not say that, but that's the dynamic.

This has the advantage that you don't have to deal with the complexities of polyamory...

... but you also don't get the network benefits.

You know, instead of crying on your own on a Sunday morning, you could play xbox with your wife's boyfriend after he's had sex with her.

He might be a good friendship match for you!

OK, that doesn't seem great. But maybe your two girlfriends can (once jealousy has been painstakingly dealt with) be friends with each other. That way once you've had sex with both of them and you just want quiet time, you can tell them go to bother each other instead of you!

Another thing. If you are a serial monogamist who has seduced 5 different women, you might now have either 1 or 0 girlfriends.

If you are a polyamorist who has seduced 5 different women, you might now have 3 girls in your polycule. Yes, probably shared, but still.

Polymory goes against nature, but it does so 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐧-𝐰𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐳𝐞𝐫𝐨-𝐬𝐮𝐦 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.

That's powerful!

A "trad" monogamously married couple can also be win-win by gathering friends for each other, by doing romantic work for each other that generates more benefits than it costs, by specializing economically (childcare/house vs moneymaking), etc.

The hierarchy of relationships for high-sexual jealousy people may be something like this:

Marriage > Serial-mono > Polyamory

The hierarchy of relationships for 𝐥𝐨𝐰-sexual jealousy people may be something like this:

Polyamory > Serial-mono > Marriage

Yet a lot of people are ending up in the Serial-mono category, probably because it is the thing that requires the least work. It is the low-effort default relationship style (again, myself included).

@kaschuta wrecks my attempt to steelman poly:

A good point: Polygyny is trad: https://twitter.com/thundolfgretler/status/1346202704247402498