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For us to get through what needs to happen next, our society and we as individuals need to learn how to accept feedback that our behavior needs change and sit with the discomfort of being wrong.
I see over and over again that people are so uncomfortable with this idea that they
I see over and over again that people are so uncomfortable with this idea that they
distance themselves from reality when others make complaints. You see them question if you're sure that is what happened, they make excuses and wonder if you maybe interpreted it wrong, or maybe you invited it all because if YOU did something wrong here then they can distance
themselves from the idea that similar abuse might occur to them. Instead we need to be supporting people who are speaking truth to abusers. We need to not tone police them, gaslight them, or diminish their stories. But this is exactly where people go first because they are so
unable to sit with the discomfort of reality. They would rather denial that anything happened at all. Then they are safe from it too.
The problem is that this mechanism provides cover for abusers and gives them the space to abuse. It discourages people from coming forward.
The problem is that this mechanism provides cover for abusers and gives them the space to abuse. It discourages people from coming forward.
And if you try to talk to an abuser about their behavior they won't hear it either. There will always be something wrong with how you phrase your complaints, purity tests, gaslighting, and further abuse.
But there is a moment between the complaint and the response where a breath
But there is a moment between the complaint and the response where a breath
can make the difference between denial and transformation.
One deep breath and then listen to the person making the complaint. Hear what they are saying. Treat it as though it is a real thing. Be there with them in their discomfort. Don't speak in ways that protect in instead
One deep breath and then listen to the person making the complaint. Hear what they are saying. Treat it as though it is a real thing. Be there with them in their discomfort. Don't speak in ways that protect in instead
be vulnerable to the change. Realize what needs changing, how you are responsible for it. Increase your emotional literacy. And then a new relationship can form where it is based on mutual respect and shared reality.
It is this one moment from taking in the complaint & reacting
It is this one moment from taking in the complaint & reacting
that makes all the difference. You can turn away from the discomfort or turn to the discomfort. Turning away is disavowing reality. Turning to is joining reality.
And this is where we are as a country today.
We are trying to have discourse about the abuses but all we are
And this is where we are as a country today.
We are trying to have discourse about the abuses but all we are
getting is the denial, derailing, purity tests, gaslighting, and more abuse.
You can see how each time a person turns away from reality they get further and further from it. Compounding over and over again until the only place it can go is violence. And calls to change are being
You can see how each time a person turns away from reality they get further and further from it. Compounding over and over again until the only place it can go is violence. And calls to change are being
rejected so violently we now have entire groups of citizens vowing to murder people in the streets and they double down even then saying it is their right to kill, that what they are doing is the best thing they could do.
Murder. And they still won't see the abuse.
Murder. And they still won't see the abuse.
I made my own unroll https://redloraine.wixsite.com/website/post/sitting-with-change
Abusers will twist and distort every tool that the targets of their abuse have, in order to continue their abuse unabated https://twitter.com/RedloraineV/status/1313865609415815168?s=20
Abusers always turn to murder. Abuse is all they have and that is where the spectrum always goes. https://www.rawstory.com/proud-boys-dc/
We can not tolerate discomfort so much that we silenced all the truth tellers https://www.rawstory.com/trump-mental-health-2649764779/
mass murder is more comfortable to them then admitting they were wrong https://www.rawstory.com/proud-boys-rally/
Every moment of discomfort is an opportunity to change and become a better person, but instead of turning to it they react violently and turn away from their discomfort and vulnerability to a place where they are the victims https://www.rawstory.com/white-grievance/
They will twist themselves into ridiculous knots to maintain their denial https://www.rawstory.com/texas-ag-promotes-conspiracy-capitol/
They can never admit wrong doing. They will never be able to say they were wrong or did a bad thing. https://www.rawstory.com/pete-hegseth-dc-riot/
They will give every excuse in the book for their behavior while attacking every one else with purity tests https://www.rawstory.com/right-wing-media-offers-sympathy-and-excuses-for-congress-mob/
They are so unable to go through the process that I outlined that they were going to murder the vice president of the united states. https://www.rawstory.com/mike-pence-donald-trump-2649791644/
The only way we get through this is by addressing the abuse and creating consequences for abusers https://www.rawstory.com/donald-trump-coup/
Every time they face disappointment, instead of feeling the defeat they take up arms to try more murder.
They will kill us all because our votes hurt their feelings https://www.rawstory.com/parler/
They will kill us all because our votes hurt their feelings https://www.rawstory.com/parler/
And they will kill us all before they will face their own disgusting failings https://www.huffpost.com/entry/chris-krebs-warning-donald-trump-violence_n_5ff95f5dc5b6c77d85e6e8a1
Authenticity is anathema to abusers https://www.advocate.com/commentary/2018/10/11/republican-party-out-closet?amp&__twitter_impression=true
because it's easier to align yourself with one of the biggest asshles in the world than become a better person https://www.rawstory.com/trump-supporters-doing-putins-bidding/
Victimhood is how we got here. They need to redeem themselves. https://www.rawstory.com/meghan-mccain-republican-enemies-behar/
When they punish people attempting to protect while applauding those who abuse - you show us who you are again.
NOTHING BUT ABUSERS https://www.rawstory.com/steve-scalise-marjorie-taylor-greene/
NOTHING BUT ABUSERS https://www.rawstory.com/steve-scalise-marjorie-taylor-greene/
The way you respond to her story is how you will find out what side of right and wrong you are on https://www.salon.com/2021/02/02/mocking-alexandria-ocasio-cortezs-trauma-is-really-about-covering-for-trumps-violent-coup/
You can't compare a person who calls for beheading for our political stewards VS a person who calls for accountability for poor and illegal actions by politicians.
Or is having a black woman call them out as scary as a call to beheading? https://www.huffpost.com/entry/nancy-mace-crazies-both-sides-marjorie-taylor-greene_n_601985dac5b6aa4bad37d8de
Or is having a black woman call them out as scary as a call to beheading? https://www.huffpost.com/entry/nancy-mace-crazies-both-sides-marjorie-taylor-greene_n_601985dac5b6aa4bad37d8de
SOME organizations come for the abusers in their ranks. Here is a good example of what to do with traitors. https://abovethelaw.com/2021/01/ny-bar-association-giving-rudy-the-boot/
Because they can not tolerate coming away from abuse https://www.salon.com/2021/02/03/why-do-70-million-americans--and-many-members-of-congress--still-follow-trump/
Support for republican extremism linked to increased odds of having been a criminal
an experience that leads most people to examine their choices & change their lives, instead led to doubling down on criminality for these people. https://this.kiji.is/729812690903269376
an experience that leads most people to examine their choices & change their lives, instead led to doubling down on criminality for these people. https://this.kiji.is/729812690903269376
literally doubling down on destroying our planet because they can't tolerate the discomfort of changing to a more virtuous system https://www.huffpost.com/entry/trump-fossil-fuels_n_601c626fc5b68e068fbccba6
This is what it looks like when you can't tolerate going through the process that I have outlined in this thread https://www.huffpost.com/entry/marjorie-taylor-greene-non-apology-twitter_n_601c4860c5b6ef6518b72d59
until they stop wallowing in victimhood and take responsibility they can not do what it takes to come away from abuse and find redemption https://www.rawstory.com/rand-paul-impeachment-trial/
She is absolutely right https://www.rawstory.com/stacey-abrams-democrats-voting-rights/
