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In 2020, I was forced to spend quite a bit of time with someone I’m not super comfortable with: Myself. I decided to keep a daily journal of my thoughts. Here (in the longest Tweet I have ever written) are a few highlights...
1.All of us are going to die. And none of us knows when. On the bright side, if you do die earlier than expected there will be a lot more people at your funeral.
2.Amazingly, the history of America is still being decided by voters like you and me. Yes, I know. I know what the numbers are, and everything else you are thinking, and I don’t care. 81 million people kept the clown car from going over the cliff and that means something.
3.There actually is such a thing as too much coffee.
4.Freedom is not free. Never was. Never will be.
http://5.It ’s now actually possible to book an acting job while sitting at home in front of your computer with no pants on.
4.Freedom is not free. Never was. Never will be.
http://5.It ’s now actually possible to book an acting job while sitting at home in front of your computer with no pants on.
http://6.New York is still the greatest city on the planet. In April and May 2020, we proved it yet again.
7.There have been 17 pandemics in recorded history. The first was in 430 B.C. in Athens during the Peloponnesian War.
7.There have been 17 pandemics in recorded history. The first was in 430 B.C. in Athens during the Peloponnesian War.
After the disease (now suspected to have been typhoid fever) passed through Libya, Ethiopia and Egypt, it scaled the Athenian walls just as the Spartans were laying siege. As much as two-thirds of the population died. Pandemics are sad because sick people die,
and the living sometimes panic and turn on each other. But we’ve always survived them in the past. We will survive this one.
8.The Queen’s Gambit was a great show. And that girl with the three names was terrific. And speaking of shows…
8.The Queen’s Gambit was a great show. And that girl with the three names was terrific. And speaking of shows…
9.I realized that network TV was never coming back when Fox briefly aired a show called, “Labor of Love” about 15 men competing to impregnate a white woman.
My friend, B. Mark Seabrooks, who is African American, suggested the title should actually be “Well, It Won’t Be the Black Guy,” while I thought a better title might be “It’s Cum to This.”
10.Believe it or not, Trump supporters are not as bad as they seem to be.
10.Believe it or not, Trump supporters are not as bad as they seem to be.
Why? You might ask. Because they are a part of a cult. They meet all the criteria, and all of us (including the media) should start referring to them as such.
11.Loving each other is sometimes a job. Occasionally the hours are long, and it doesn’t pay much as it should, but it has some truly wonderful benefits.
12.Any processed food you purchase that has the words, “Cheese-Filled,” “Deep Fried” or “Bacon Flavored” on the label, will, when you put it in your mouth, taste like a combination of love, beauty, truth, poetry, art & multiple orgasms dipped in heroin.
And if you eat it late at night, you may also detect the subtle flavor of “enlightenment” with a delicious hint of “justice” in there somewhere. But do keep in mind, that no matter how it tastes, the second you swallow it, it will immediately start trying to kill you.
13.There’s nothing wrong with being scared. As long as you don’t stay scared. The best advice ever offered on this came from screen legend, Elizabeth Taylor, when she once said, “Pour yourself a drink. Put on some lipstick. And pull yourself together.”
It is excellent advice. Even if you’re not into the lipstick part, you can substitute “Brush your teeth” or “Make your fucking bed.”
14.And speaking of Ms. Taylor, there’s nothing wrong with having a little something extra to drink as long as
14.And speaking of Ms. Taylor, there’s nothing wrong with having a little something extra to drink as long as
you don’t leave the house or order any strange kitchen equipment off the internet.
15.I recently realized that every time you look at something like the moon, you are looking at the exact same moon that Mohammad or Jesus or Shakespeare or Native Americans or Harriet Tubman or
15.I recently realized that every time you look at something like the moon, you are looking at the exact same moon that Mohammad or Jesus or Shakespeare or Native Americans or Harriet Tubman or
Vincent Van Gough looked at. This is also true of other eternal things like the mountains or the oceans. Or Cher.
16.Chadwick Boseman was just at the beginning of an incredible career and (like Heath Ledger) exited after giving a scorching final performance that should
16.Chadwick Boseman was just at the beginning of an incredible career and (like Heath Ledger) exited after giving a scorching final performance that should
never be mourned. He left us something truly great to remember him by.
17.On a related note, Viola Davis scares me a little. I’m not sure why. I’m sure she’s very nice, but she seems kind of intense.
17.On a related note, Viola Davis scares me a little. I’m not sure why. I’m sure she’s very nice, but she seems kind of intense.
18.Every once in a while, we all might want to put down our fucking phones. Phones, I think, are the new refrigerators. Remember the old days when we all just stood staring into our refrigerators when we weren’t even hungry. Looking for something. God knows what. So, maybe
instead of looking at those busy little screens, we should just stand there (or sit there) and fucking feel the emptiness of our lives. Because if you are brave enough to feel it, you’ll understand that it is leading you to somewhere new.
19.For Christ sake, take care of the people who matter. Take care of the selfless ones. Take care of the courageous ones. Take care of the kind. Take care of those who are so busy making things better, that they forget to look over their shoulder and
see the speeding bus coming straight at them. Don’t be afraid to sacrifice a piece of your life for anybody you truly know is a little better than you are.
20.There is no amount of money, no job, no house, no achievement, or obsession that is equal in value to your life. The meaning of everything sits peacefully in your hands. It always has. In the words of Leonardo di Vinci, “The days are long enough, for those who use them well.
21. Okay, I’m cheating by adding one extra thought: If you don’t want to be thought of as a pretentious asshole, you probably shouldn’t post stuff like a list of things you learned in 2020 on the Internet. Nobody gives a fuck what you think, and they won’t
remember any of it tomorrow. Do the world a favor. Just make them laugh if you can.
