The importance of avoiding "should" statements:

If you're like most people with depression, there's a pretty high chance that you often tell yourself "should" statements.

For example:
“I should go to the gym more”
“I should lose some weight”
"I should be studying more"

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However, the problem with “should” statements such as these is that they imply that since you’re not doing or experiencing what you believe you “should” be, that there’s something wrong with you.

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This is a subtle way of criticising yourself; putting unnecessary pressure on yourself; and in many cases, negatively comparing yourself to others.

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Rather than focusing on the negative result of not doing, achieving, or experiencing something that you think you “should” be, try focusing on the positive benefits you will receive from doing, achieving, or experiencing that thing.

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For example:
👍 “If I went to the gym more often, then I would be in better shape and feel a lot healthier."
👍 “If I lost some weight, then I would feel healthier.”
👍 "If I studied more, then I would know a lot more about so many things."

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When you focus on the positives of doing something like in the examples above as opposed to making “should” statements (and therefore focusing on something negative), it results in you being less self-critical and putting much less pressure on yourself.

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This increases the chances of you actually acting on it, since focusing on the benefits of doing something is more likely to motivate you, while focusing on the negatives of not doing something is more likely to make you feel too dejected and/or overwhelmed to take action.

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