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I'd like to unpick this a bit more...
a) It is true that performing patriarchal masculinity is bad in certain respects for men... it's bad for them because it involves dissociating themselves from their emotions, and trying to perform a type of invulnerability that is actually https://twitter.com/janeclarejones/status/1346012185202483201
a) It is true that performing patriarchal masculinity is bad in certain respects for men... it's bad for them because it involves dissociating themselves from their emotions, and trying to perform a type of invulnerability that is actually https://twitter.com/janeclarejones/status/1346012185202483201
impossible... hence our observations about its inherent fragility... it's a brittle structure, lacking in flexibility and resilience, and it makes men unable to get their needs met ethically... and when women won't comply, it produces violence.
b) That said, the people who suffer from men not getting their needs met ethically *is not men.* It is women. Patriarchy is a system which allows men to get their needs met while not having to deal with their own vulnerability, or the damage their entitlement and appropriation
does to women (and children, and the planet).
c) That is, while patriarchy damages men in some respects, it also functions to meet their needs, in a way that principally damages women.
d) That is, patriarchy is a system of sex-based power that serves *male interests.*
c) That is, while patriarchy damages men in some respects, it also functions to meet their needs, in a way that principally damages women.
d) That is, patriarchy is a system of sex-based power that serves *male interests.*
e) In order for males to be allies to women in opposing patriarchy, it is *not sufficient* for men to say 'I oppose sexism.' The necessary condition is for them to undo all of their *entitlement* to women centring them and their needs above their own. And for them to accept that
the condition of getting their needs met ethically is that sometimes they won't get their needs met. Sometimes women say no. The first condition of being a feminist ally is knowing how to accept it.
f) Undoing this kind of entitlement is HARD. It is hard because men are
f) Undoing this kind of entitlement is HARD. It is hard because men are
socialised into it, and it is hard because it throws you back on your own vulnerability, and requires you to deal with *not getting what you want all the fucking time.*
g) The fact that males are not great at this is one reason we exclude them from feminism. Because actually,
g) The fact that males are not great at this is one reason we exclude them from feminism. Because actually,
most of them don't want to give up their entitlements. What they want, in fact is to look like good guys who aren't sexist while carrying on being entitled and getting all their needs met. This is the key to third wave feminism. Third wave feminism is feminism which claims to be
feminism but which has edited out all the bits that would actually challenge male dominance, male entitlement, and males getting their needs met.
The reason why it's not actually possible to give a coherent definition of the core of third wave feminism is b/c the only thing that
The reason why it's not actually possible to give a coherent definition of the core of third wave feminism is b/c the only thing that
holds all its tenets together is 'benefits men and/or doesn't challenge male dominance or interests.'
It's so surprising that men find this feminism so much more congenial than the other type which actually demanded some work from them.
It's so surprising that men find this feminism so much more congenial than the other type which actually demanded some work from them.
h) The other main reason why it is important to exclude males from feminism, and to insist that they can only be allies, is that whether men are able to accept this is actually the perfect test of whether they have done enough work with their entitlement to actually *be* allies.
It is, in itself, an enactment of the core issue of women drawing boundaries and men accepting them.
Men who easily accept that they are allies not feminists often turn out to be GREAT allies. Men who have a massive tantrum about not being centred are exactly the kind of
Men who easily accept that they are allies not feminists often turn out to be GREAT allies. Men who have a massive tantrum about not being centred are exactly the kind of
entitled self-serving asses who do not actually understand the core mechanisms of male power, have not done the work to challenge it in themselves, and cannot actually be allies to feminist women.
So, no, feminism is not for everyone.
It will benefit everyone in the long run.
So, no, feminism is not for everyone.
It will benefit everyone in the long run.
But we'll only get there by having a movement that centres female people's needs and female people's boundaries, and enacts the process of men learning how to respect those, which *is* the process of undoing male power, and will get us, hopefully, where we need to go.
