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I really need to understand why the maternal surname is "blocking our blessing". Our mothers did all they could for us and you really wanna tell me some absent nigga's last name is the ONLY way to unlock my blessings? That's unfair.
A nigga who decided he's gonna be absent, his family also not even in the picture and you wanna tell me after they die, THE SAME PEOPLE WANT YOU TO USE THEIR NAME? WHY?
And I'm not trying to rubbish African culture and practice but why is my mom's surname not enough for me? Why must a person grow up to "force" themselves on people that have actively stayed away from them for the sake of a last name they now need to use?
Who determines these rules? Have they considered that some paternal families really want nothing to do with you? And all of a sudden you must be claimed as theirs? How?
Men (and their families) can't wanna claim moral authority after choosing to be absent. That is so unfair. What happens if you actually don't use their name and ignore them the way they ignored you growing up?
This is male (and cultural) privilege and we need to talk about this more. There are a lot of us with very present and active maternal families. Those, my friend, are your people!!!
It's like, how did my ancestors get so entitled when they didn't want ANYTHING to do with me when they were living humans in the SAME city as me??? Make it make sense!
Like..."now that you're grown and your mother and her family did absolutely everything for you while we were mucking around somewhere, DENYING YOU, now we'll step in at 33, BUT ONLY FOR YOU TO USE OUR LAST NAME FOR YOUR BLESSINGS"! Excuse me? It must be crack! Forget it!
And my mom used her mom's surname, which was my great grandmother's maternal surname. So I'm 4th generation maternal surname. Meaning I'm riddled with badluck for life ke mina!
Anyway, there are people with very active dads, using their surnames and their lives amount to nothing. And I know very successful people with their maternal surnames. So really, what's what here? Do you!
