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Atheist humor!
Taoism:
Shit happens.
Buddhism:
If shit happens, it's not really shit.
Islam:
If shit happens, it's the will of Allah.
Protestantism:
Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Judaism:
Why does this shit always happen to us?
Taoism:
Shit happens.
Buddhism:
If shit happens, it's not really shit.
Islam:
If shit happens, it's the will of Allah.
Protestantism:
Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Judaism:
Why does this shit always happen to us?
2/..
Hinduism:
This shit happened before.
Catholicism:
Shit happens because you're bad.
Hare Krishna:
Shit happens rama rama.
T.V. Evangelism:
Send more shit.
Atheism:
No shit.
Jehova's Witness:
Knock knock, shit happens.
Hinduism:
This shit happened before.
Catholicism:
Shit happens because you're bad.
Hare Krishna:
Shit happens rama rama.
T.V. Evangelism:
Send more shit.
Atheism:
No shit.
Jehova's Witness:
Knock knock, shit happens.
3/
Hedonism:
There's nothing like a good shit happening.
Christian Science:
Shit happens in your mind.
Agnosticism:
Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.
Rastafarianism:
Let's smoke this shit.
Existentialism:
What is shit anyway?
Stoicism:
This shit doesn't bother me
Hedonism:
There's nothing like a good shit happening.
Christian Science:
Shit happens in your mind.
Agnosticism:
Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.
Rastafarianism:
Let's smoke this shit.
Existentialism:
What is shit anyway?
Stoicism:
This shit doesn't bother me
4/
To Theists:
You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of your god.
To Theists:
You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of your god.
5/
You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from lesser life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt
You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from lesser life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt
6/..
You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Trinity god
Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of .....
You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Trinity god
Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of .....
7/..
Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" -- including women, children, and trees!
Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" -- including women, children, and trees!
8/..
You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
9/..
You are willing to spend your life looking for little loop-holes in the scientifically established age of the Earth (4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by pre-historic ....
You are willing to spend your life looking for little loop-holes in the scientifically established age of the Earth (4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by pre-historic ....
10/..
tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that the Earth is a couple of generations old.
You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects -- ......
tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that the Earth is a couple of generations old.
You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects -- ......
11/..
will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet you consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving".
While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking...
will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet you consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving".
While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking...
12/..
in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to prove Christianity.
You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to prove Christianity.
You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
13/..
You actually know a lot less than many Atheists and Agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history -- but still call yourself a Christian? Poppycock!
You actually know a lot less than many Atheists and Agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history -- but still call yourself a Christian? Poppycock!
