No character acting for a moment.

A follow/follow back young dude from Eastern Europe has a legitimate gripe about poor/no parenting creating a large majority of "Lost Boys" in the 'Sphere.

These guys are being led by Power Dads and Religious Wonk TRADS into a social shredder.

This "kid" is one of my 34 follows.

I can tell he wants to do his best, but is hampered by trauma, lack of opportunity, and some shitty reading. His gripes about who gives advice to others and for what reasons is legitimate, because he views many of the messengers as broken.

Fair enough.

Here is how it works for the socially adjusted:

We either experienced enough success making friends and making out with girls in our formative years, or had parents explain to us that we at least needed to try to fit in.

I was in foster care until 9 y/o.

I had to mirror and learn from my popular peers. I participated in as many sports as I could, because the athletic kids were respected and left alone by the adults. The frail were preyed upon and abused.

I saw way too many adult dicks as a child.

I was fortunate enough to pass as socially competent by recognizing that it was a necessary skill in a hostile environment.

For that reason, I am relatively nihilistic and ruthless in my chosen pursuits. No one ever showed me mercy or cared to instruct while beatings were faster

This also leads to how I parent.

I recognize that the assertive hold a distinct advantage over the meek when it comes to opportunity, recognition and affection.

For the longest time, I thought that "Only winners are deserving of love". It is very difficult to live this way.

Constantly seeking outside validation from authority figures, your peers and girls is exhausting and a poor metric.

What kind of frame can one have when life is terrifying and cruel? Reflexively reacting places one at a distinct disadvantage.

A stand needs to be taken.

The Lost Boy needs to find his moment where he says "Fuck this. Fuck the way I feel. I need to change this by figuring out what it is that I want."

This is step one. If it comes when you are 25, I'm sorry. You have a lot of catching up to do. More so if you are older.

If you have children before figuring out what you want, a man will often make that child into what it is he wants for himself. Vicarious Dad (not to be confused with Bi-Curious George), is the Power Dad scourge of the 'Sphere.

This asshole has nothing to teach. He's delusional.

He frames life based upon what his kids can do for his image and meeting his social goals. He is a tyrant, and not a leader of his home.

He wears the name of other men on his shirts and women merely tolerate him.

No one desires men who scream at children.

Fuck off, "Coach".

So how do you go about wanting to be a parent and have a healthy, desire filled, relationship with women?

Understand that action is demonstrative. Mulling over theory is speculative. Others have no idea of your capacity unless demonstrated.

This is a hard lesson for the meek.

You have to be available to others to show you have value.

You will be judged harshly and swiftly by strangers. Your first impression will often be your only impression. No one has time to get to know the "real you".

Social skill is learned, not inherited.

The orphan knows.

These are the things I teach my son. Not to be cruel, but to prepare him.

In addition, I can't have high expectations of him, if I don't walk the walk. He and I have gained weight this year. He's at that age where appearance will rule a lot of his social opportunities.

Do you remember how the "fat kid" at school was treated? I do. And despite all the advertised messaging, kids don't stop bullying because Gillette shamed their dads.

So I need to be in shape for him as much as for myself.

I am the example for him, whether I like it or not.

It is not for me, as a grown man, to live through my son.

I owe him more than that.

This asshole is lucky to have the opportunity to teach and guide.

I just wish so many men weren't needing to parent themselves.