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CW: Mention of Child Abuse, Bigotry
Ok so real quick I want to talk about Bean Dad, and specifically why it's unsurprising to many that post the beans story it came out that he was also racist, queerphobic, and anti-semetic, and how it ties in to general white cis-het dudery.
Ok so real quick I want to talk about Bean Dad, and specifically why it's unsurprising to many that post the beans story it came out that he was also racist, queerphobic, and anti-semetic, and how it ties in to general white cis-het dudery.
So when Bean Dad was called out on his wildly abusive behaviour (TW: Child Abuse if you look up the story), his responses all boiled down to:
"No this is a happy story."
"You just don't get our relationship/ my twitter."
"My daughter truly valued it."
Etc etc.
"No this is a happy story."
"You just don't get our relationship/ my twitter."
"My daughter truly valued it."
Etc etc.
Let's distill that further:
All these responses are basically saying "I'm the good guy, you just don't get it."
That core belief is what upholds hegemonic power structures, because it's what reinforces that their beliefs are right no matter the context, that they can do no wrong
All these responses are basically saying "I'm the good guy, you just don't get it."
That core belief is what upholds hegemonic power structures, because it's what reinforces that their beliefs are right no matter the context, that they can do no wrong
This is what makes challenging white cis-het dudes, but really any person who is part of the majority, so difficult. Because when you start from the conclusion that you are good, there isn't really a discussion to be had about the harm you've done.
Because you can't do harm.
Because you can't do harm.
Being explicit, it leaves two options:
1) "Bigotry is bad. I am good. Therefore I cannot be racist." This is what most white liberals are. Like the democratic party.
or
2) "I am good. I am bigoted. Therefore racism isn't bad/ is justified." This is your outward bigots.
1) "Bigotry is bad. I am good. Therefore I cannot be racist." This is what most white liberals are. Like the democratic party.
or
2) "I am good. I am bigoted. Therefore racism isn't bad/ is justified." This is your outward bigots.
So yeah, when we see Bean dad defending himself as right in the face of overwhelming evidence and criticism otherwise, it's unsurprising that he also has deeply held and unchallenged racist, anti-semetic, queerphobic, etc beliefs.
Cause who the fuck can call him in?
Cause who the fuck can call him in?
And this isn't really about Bean Dad, right? Like, this is pretty much any person who holds a hegemonic identity or piece of privilege that hasn't done the work to challenge it.
Because we're conditioned to believe that any privilege we hold makes us right over those who don't.
Because we're conditioned to believe that any privilege we hold makes us right over those who don't.
Whiteness is where this is often easily visible, since it is one of the most pervasive forms of privilege, and intersects with a ton of others, and because racism is everywhere.
But you see this with BIMPoC Men talking over QTPoC and BIMWoC, as an example.
But you see this with BIMPoC Men talking over QTPoC and BIMWoC, as an example.
If there's a conclusion here it's this:
One of the best defenses against being bigoted is being open to criticism and challenging the idea that you are always right if you hold privilege. And the best way to call out bigotry in your friends is to challenge that idea for them.
One of the best defenses against being bigoted is being open to criticism and challenging the idea that you are always right if you hold privilege. And the best way to call out bigotry in your friends is to challenge that idea for them.
