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caught up with the entire saga of bean dad and now people going into defensive and rationalization mode and y'know this kind of intense dragging probably wouldn't come out so much if more restrained, private discussions with offenders actually produced results
"do people have to go this hard-" not have to but ime a lot more people than you'd like are going to go "i thank you for your input and will now keep doing the exact same thing" right up until introducing actual consequences and THEN apologies come out
it's not that everyone wants this to be the go to method, necessarily, it's that people have good reason to distrust the effectiveness of approaching gently and politely
this extends to "people have good reason to distrust that the people who know said person personally aren't going to pull them aside and go 'what the fuck is your problem?' inb their face but will, at most, give them a mild fingerwagging"
