Excuse the picture, but with an impending lockdown most likely coming in, I want to throw so #RealMotherhood out there, a thread!
This is me with Rupert, he’s probably about 2 months old and only wanted to be on me!
I was having to express breastmilk every 3 hours.

My dream was to breastfeed Rupert.
But he wouldn’t latch on. I asked for help, I asked for support. Very little was available, even when I was an inpatient, there just wasn’t the staff to support me.
I was exhausted, I needed blood transfusions, I needed to feed him

He was jaundice so I knew I needed to feed him more.
Every time we tried to latch he just screamed and screamed.
I said he had a tongue tie- no one listened.
I carried on expressing but resigned myself to having to bottle feed formula (which I have no problem with)

I would do anything to just get home.
Which we did- we got home and there was even less support.
The hand express pump I brought wasn’t going to touch it, so Andy had to make frantic dashes around places to try and find an electric pump for me

We got one, and that was my life.
Constant pumping, every 3 hours.
There were positives, Andy could help with feeds- but I felt I had failed, I felt like the one thing I should be able to do I couldn’t.
I barely saw HCPS in the community (understandably) so again, no support

Breastfeeding cafes weren’t open, health visitors couldn’t visit, there was no support and virtual support for breastfeeding just wasn’t for me! I needed someone there.
This photo was me exhausted and hating and resenting the fact I was having to pump

My plan was for a year. I managed 4 and a half months.
Yes I got the initial stages mostly with my own milk, but I had to add in formula because my supply wasn’t a good as he needed it to be.
I was locked down with a newborn, pumping, and no support as Andy was back to work.

So, a new lockdown coming- as much as it is needed and desperately so- new mums again face very little support, especially surrounding breast feeding
We are one of the lowest country for breastfeeding rates and I think this will get worse
The impact this has on women’s MH is huge

They are desperately going to need support, not just for breastfeeding but for EVERYTHING!
A newborn is hard. A newborn in lockdown is something not many have had to deal with and it is lonely and even more isolating.
We need to make sure support is there for women

Even informal support, if you have a friend who is pregnant or has a newborn; please check in with them! Ask them how they are- double tap and ask them twice.
This photo was of me feeling absolutely broken and one person checking in let me talk through my worries

I hope that a new lockdown doesn’t stop all the hard work people like @PregnantScrewed has achieved!
I missed most of it in mine as the government were slow to react. I hope that they don’t cut back on the support women need, and find ways of supporting new mums with everything

If anyone is pregnant and needs support- I am here! You are not alone in this!
I may not be there to give you a hug, but I am here to talk, to tell you it’s hard but worth it, to tell you there are days when I have wished it away and been desperate for Andy to get home

Social media is very good at making you think being a mum is easy or that you should have your Shit together. But I promise you, that’s often not the reality.
So reach out, don’t be worried of judgement because I guarantee, I will have felt it at some point

But... to also make it balance... being a mum in a lockdown is also pretty amazing!
You are part of a crew who have something completely unique.
And one smile helps to forget all the troubles most of the time!
It’s hard but so so worth it!