Ok, I have to talk about something that just happened with my son. As you probably know, Jackson is autistic and only partially verbal. This is important to understand. He can speak and has a decent vocabulary, but he often prefers not to and has trouble with syntax.
I was lying down on the couch like the lump I am, when he leaned into the area between my head and the arm rest and pushed into me, like a wedge. I assumed he was trying to get me to move from the spot he wanted (he’s not always great on social niceties like asking)
At first I leaned back hard because...I’m a lump. He kept pushing with his shoulder into me, with his arms limp at his side. I said “Buddy, sit somewhere else. I’m comfy.” But he kept pushing.
Finally I said “what on earth are you doing?” No reply. More pushing into me.
I then rephrase my question, as that sometimes helps. “What do you want.”
He calmly and firmly says “hug.”
I then rephrase my question, as that sometimes helps. “What do you want.”
He calmly and firmly says “hug.”
And here’s where I realized I forgot something vital about Jackson: his definition of hug doesn’t involve arms. He just leans on you. If you want arms involved, you have to specify a “Real Good Hug.”
Anyway, he was trying to be affectionate with me, but didn’t know how to ask.
Anyway, he was trying to be affectionate with me, but didn’t know how to ask.
There’s probably a lesson here. It looks like a parable. But really it’s just good to pay attention and remember how other people take in the world, I guess.
Also, Jackson gives excellent Real Good Hugs if you ask, despite certain NT stereotypes about autistic kids.