I grew up in New York City. By 8 years old, I was on my own after school; home alone with my sister two nights a week; cooking dinner in a gas oven by myself; and doing my own laundry.

The people in my mentions talking about how “Bean Dad” was just “teaching”...

1/

...his 9-year old a valuable life lesson by refusing to show her how to open a can have no idea what the fuck they’re talking about.

Bean Dad could have written a post about his day that said “taught my daughter how to use a can opener and then we did a puzzle together.”

2/

He *could have* walked his child through getting to the root of their actual problem - being hungry - and solving it.

He *could have* used his internet access to teach his child how to seek information to solve problems.

“Siri: how does a can opener work?”

3/

Instead, *HE* hijacked her actual problem - being hungry - and blocked all other avenues to solving it (“we will eat nothing else...”).

And then he spent six hours lording over her that he was in control; could easily help; and instead preferred she suffer.

4/

I was beyond independent as a kid. I was leaving school by myself and roaming my New York City neighborhood unsupervised by his daughter’s age.

My parents didn’t make me independent by being withholding assholes. That isn’t “teaching”. That’s abuse.

5/

So, any person dropping by to tell me about how this asshole’s borderline sadistic reveling in his young child’s prolonged misery as he withholds relief can just fuck right off.

If you do this, you are an abusive parent. If your parents did it, they were too.

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