This is probably one of our more controversial opinions. Hard agree. I will explain why, because "rest is part of healing anyway" seems to be a common response https://twitter.com/crys_tom/status/1345457342121299968

The thing is, we are all under constant pressure to improve ourselves in one way or another. For mentally ill people, that includes "healing" - which I am putting in quotes because whether the proposed course of action would *actually* be good for us varies greatly.

People with physical disabilities and chronic illnesses are also expected to "get better" as much as we can, to try every new experimental or alternative treatment no matter the chances of success.

And whether your illness is mental or physical, everyone's suggesting yoga

For those of us who do know that we still have a lot of healing ahead of us, it may feel like a daunting task especially if we don't have as much support as we'd like. It can be very difficult to help yourself when what you actually need is outside help.

Yet we are under pressure to never stop trying, never take a week off, to try out every suggestion immediately, meditate daily, consistently avoid caffeine, get enough sleep every night, and so on.

Now, some of these things actually help. Others may not, depending on the person.

But even with things that do help, we often end up feeling like failures if we don't keep them up consistently - and not enough of us ask the question, "Is this because I'm not disciplined enough or am I failing because I literally don't have the spoons for this activity?"

Are you maybe struggling to control your sleep schedule because you have a circadian rhythm disorder, so even though it's true that lack of sleep is bad for one's health, you're not really "harming yourself" so much as suffering from inconvenient symptoms?

Society does not teach us to ask these questions. Learning to recognise and honour your limits as a chronically ill or otherwise disabled person is often a long, hard process. It's not intuitive anymore because we've been trained to think discipline will fix everything.

"Rest is part of healing" doesn't get these things across because it brings to mind regularly scheduled rest days where you don't actively work on your issues and instead focus on having fun, socialising, or self-care (the stereotypical bubble bath comes to mind).

That is indeed a normal part of healing, and necessary. But "taking a break from healing" goes beyond that.

It's when you spend a few weeks just functioning, without actively working on improving your mental health at all. When you put off making an appointment until next month.

When you don't immediately try that new breathing exercise you read about on the internet, or the supplement your friend recommended.

Can all of that be simple procrastination and ultimately bad for you? Sure, sometimes. But certainly not always. And listen, there's time.

You don't have a moral obligation to fix yourself as fast as possible, it's only capitalism that dictates this.

I can hear all the objections: "But why would you want to suffer longer than necessary? What about the people in your life, don't you have an obligation to them?"

That line of reasoning erases and shames all the people who may *think* they're just being lazy, but who actually have undiagnosed additional problems they're not even aware of, or are simply so exhausted that it's a matter of "can't" rather than "won't."

Also consider that some people have tried dozens of approaches without any success - can you blame them for waiting longer and longer between attempts?

Not only is repeated disappointment a huge downer, there's also the risk of being retraumatised if you have medical trauma.

Just a few examples: being unable to keep up a habit due to undiagnosed ADHD. Being unable to stick to a sleep schedule due to non-24 (look it up, not enough people know about this). Undiagnosed physical conditions causing extreme fatigue. Being too tired to meditate is a thing.

No matter what it is that may be making it hard for you to "keep the ball rolling," I'm here to tell you it's okay to take a break from trying for a while.

Even if you think it's probably nothing and you're just procrastinating. As long as you're not hurting anyone, it's fine.

Now one might say that learning to recognise and respect one's limits is actually part of healing, too. True enough.

But most people, including many medical professionals, don't see it that way. You'll be perceived as "not working on healing" even if you believe you still are.

And you don't have to be at your limit in order to "earn" a break at all. Making it conditional is counterproductive, not least because some people will swear up and down they're not at their limits although they actually are.

It's okay to just want a damn break sometimes.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk??