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Choosing a therapist is hard.
I’ve seen quite a few over the years. Some were absolutely life changing, and some were shockers.
Here’s some tips & reflections on choosing a therapist.
(thread 1/13) https://twitter.com/crys_tom/status/1345534523535024128
I’ve seen quite a few over the years. Some were absolutely life changing, and some were shockers.
Here’s some tips & reflections on choosing a therapist.
(thread 1/13) https://twitter.com/crys_tom/status/1345534523535024128
I look for therapists who practice 2, 3 or more different approaches.
I want someone with many ways of conceptualising & responding to distress, who can adapt to fit my needs & preferences—rather than fit me into their framework.
If they only list CBT it’s a big no from me. /2
I want someone with many ways of conceptualising & responding to distress, who can adapt to fit my needs & preferences—rather than fit me into their framework.
If they only list CBT it’s a big no from me. /2
I can’t say which therapeutic approach is best because there are loads & we’re all different.
But it’s important to know there are HEAPS of different therapy approaches, plus individual therapist styles vary a lot too.
Shop around. Read up. Find your own favourite flavour. /3
But it’s important to know there are HEAPS of different therapy approaches, plus individual therapist styles vary a lot too.
Shop around. Read up. Find your own favourite flavour. /3
With the above caveat, I’ve found these therapies to be the most helpful: arts, narrative, feminist & process work.
I’m not a fan of cognitive or behavioural therapy: I’ve found them individualising & short-term.
But they’re really common right now & some folks love them. /4
I’m not a fan of cognitive or behavioural therapy: I’ve found them individualising & short-term.
But they’re really common right now & some folks love them. /4
I look for therapists with deep understanding of trauma and social determinants, and a commitment to social justice.
I value therapists who will help locate my distress in a broader sociopolitical context, rather than individualise or pathologise.
/5
I value therapists who will help locate my distress in a broader sociopolitical context, rather than individualise or pathologise.
/5
I look to see if therapists have a sliding scale of fees, and offer free / affordable sessions for those on lower incomes.
I can afford full fees these days. But I think of this as a form of ethical purchase, a way of checking they’re accessible to those most in need.
/6
I can afford full fees these days. But I think of this as a form of ethical purchase, a way of checking they’re accessible to those most in need.
/6
I quite like a therapist who can be human with me. Drop a well-timed f-bomb, admit to making mistakes and not knowing, be occasionally funny.
These are my personal preferences to feel connected—so your needs might be different. Think about what will build connection for you. /7
These are my personal preferences to feel connected—so your needs might be different. Think about what will build connection for you. /7
I seek out therapists who have the right mix of being able to express authentic empathy, to sit compassionately with me in distress—and, when appropriate, call me out on my own bullshit.
It’s a delicate balance, but I’ve found it can be a very important gift of therapy.
/8
It’s a delicate balance, but I’ve found it can be a very important gift of therapy.
/8
I expect a potential therapist to have at least a brief convo or short session with me before I commit to starting with them.
Sometimes it just doesn’t ‘click’, for whatever reason.
Best to know that before making a big emotional or financial commitment.
/9
Sometimes it just doesn’t ‘click’, for whatever reason.
Best to know that before making a big emotional or financial commitment.
/9
I require a therapist to commit to never calling a hospital or police without my consent if they think I’m at risk of harm to myself.
Many won’t make this commitment, but some will. It’s a deal-breaker for me, so I ask it very directly as a screening question.
/10
Many won’t make this commitment, but some will. It’s a deal-breaker for me, so I ask it very directly as a screening question.
/10
Be open to counsellors, not just clinical psychologists.
I know money often makes this impossible. But I’ve found these folks are often very skilled at working outside of diagnosis, and with a social justice lens.
/11
I know money often makes this impossible. But I’ve found these folks are often very skilled at working outside of diagnosis, and with a social justice lens.
/11
I stuck with my first (awful) therapist for years because I didn’t know any better.
Don’t do that.
It might take a few sessions to tell if a therapist is right for you. But if it doesn’t feel right, move on, try again.
/12
Don’t do that.
It might take a few sessions to tell if a therapist is right for you. But if it doesn’t feel right, move on, try again.
/12
Therapy isn’t the answer for everyone, so consider other options too.
Peer support can be incredible & is rapidly growing. Some folks find healing through spiritual paths, physical movement, animals or activism.
There are thousands of ways to heal.
I hope you find yours. /13
Peer support can be incredible & is rapidly growing. Some folks find healing through spiritual paths, physical movement, animals or activism.
There are thousands of ways to heal.
I hope you find yours. /13
