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Actual chronicles of an interracial friendship 2021 Edition:
I spent New Years with one of my besties (who is white).
Him: Just take our car
Me: No way, we are in an all white neighborhood
Him: Dude, there is nothing to worry about
Me:...
/A THREAD
I spent New Years with one of my besties (who is white).
Him: Just take our car
Me: No way, we are in an all white neighborhood
Him: Dude, there is nothing to worry about
Me:...
/A THREAD
Me: There is no way that I will drive a fancy car that I do not own in this neighborhood.
Him: It's not even a fancy car, its a Subaru
*Me Internally*: Feeling gaslight and angry. Clearly he does not get it... /2
Him: It's not even a fancy car, its a Subaru
*Me Internally*: Feeling gaslight and angry. Clearly he does not get it... /2
15 minutes later...
Me: I've been pulled over multiple times in San Francisco on my bike for things that I don't think were worthy of being pulled over.
Him: Dude, I am sorry. I regretted what I said as soon as I said it.
/3
Me: I've been pulled over multiple times in San Francisco on my bike for things that I don't think were worthy of being pulled over.
Him: Dude, I am sorry. I regretted what I said as soon as I said it.
/3
Him: This is the exact thing that I have been working on trying to not do. I was thinking of things from my experience not from yours. I am really sorry.
Me (Backing down out of fight mode): Thank you for apologizing
/4
Me (Backing down out of fight mode): Thank you for apologizing
/4
My friend said something that was a microinvalidation, a statement invalidating my racialized experience. I can't exist in any new space without being aware/afraid of being black. But he recognized it, & apologized for it. He did not fake apologize for it or make any excuses. /5
Naturally because we come from different backgrounds we view life different. We were in a place where he felt safe but not one where I felt safe. But because he was willing to recognize that he didn't understand my experience, our friendship ended up in a better place /6
I am not mad/hurt at all, I am actually happy. I was ready to go into full argument mode and we didn't fight. My hope is that I and everyone else will bring this energy of humility into 2021 to say when we are wrong and to apologize genuinely and learn from it. /7
@N8Krah said it was cool if I tagged him (which I also am proud of). /8
Filmed 30 years ago but still very relevant today
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