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It's safe to think about the person you like. The difference between healthy interest and limerence is the latter consists of daydreams that interfere with your life. The daydreams are more about the person you're fixated on showing you gratitude in extreme situations.
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Those who have this issue don't just cook up scenarios in their mind that reflect a romantic comedy. It's more about them having to "rescue" "save" or show their crush they are who they needed all this time. It's about being placed on a pedestal and being worshipped.
The thoughts are rarely about anything sexual or mutual interest being shown. Again it's about being shown gratitude and praise.
People who struggle with limerence also don't take no for answer. Not to be confused with those who are being emotionally manipulated and dealing with someone who's hot and cold. I'm talking about being told a clear and direct no yet still denying the fact they've been rejected.
They look at the word no and believe it's not a complete sentence, they believe there's more to the story "maybe they mean not right now, or maybe they're just scared of love, it's okay I'll wait."
They deny rejection and rationalize it in all sorts of ways besides the main point of it being "this person is just not interested in me."
The best way to combat this is firstly admitting to yourself you might have this issue. It's very common and no you're not crazy, no you're not a bad person, and yes it can be tackled.
Place all that attention elsewhere, if you don't have friends, then the world is your oyster. Don't initiate contact with your obsession. Until we realize we cannot own people, if we know we can't see them for who they are, It's best to leave them alone.
Trying to heal while still playing with fire won't work. It's like slapping on a bandaid and constantly peeling it off to see if it's working. So please leave them be.
Be honest with yourself and don't allow shame in. Allow compassion and a safe space. You're not defective. You're wonderful just the way you are, we just have to find that wonder again before we go making homes out of people.
