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I keep thinking about this and how it brings home for me one of the reasons I love writing historical romance. (I feel a thread coming on)
Most (not all) of my heroines are virgins when they meet the hero, and in most books they have the “but you’ll be ruined” talk before sex. Sometimes the heroine blows that idea out of the water. Sometimes it’s the hero. Other times they have a mutual “to hell with that, right?”
I’m sure lots readers roll their eyes every time, or at least think to themselves, “Damn, olden times were messed up. So glad we’re over that today.”
But the thing is, we are NOT over that today.
But the thing is, we are NOT over that today.
Purity culture still exists. Thrives, even. Millions of young women grow up being told that their value as a person is diminished if they have sex. (And young men, for that matter.) Purity culture is real, and it causes lasting damage to women’s self-worth and relationships.
So I love being able to write a hearty “f*ck you, purity culture” into every book, and it’s the olden-timey setting that facilitates that. I’m sure there are contemporary romances that deal with the fallout from purity culture beautifully, but not to the point where it’s a trope.
Because I write historical romance, I can set that rusty, tetanus-crusted tin can on the fence rail and take it down with my BB gun in every single story. Right alongside “women can’t do STEM” and “marriage means giving up your dreams” and other supposedly outdated ideas.
Writing sex scenes is great and all, but have you tried writing dialogue that affirms sex is good and healthy and not at all shameful and does not diminish a woman’s worth as a human or make her less deserving of love and autonomy?
A lot of women want to read that over and over. Some women *need* to read that over and over. I want to write it over and over. (Maybe I also need to, which would be a conversation best saved for therapy.)
Anyhow.
Thank you for coming to my olden-timey TED talk in every book.
Anyhow.
Thank you for coming to my olden-timey TED talk in every book.
Adding, I fully support women making their individual choices about sex, and that includes the choice to wait until marriage — or the choice to never have it at all. Those choices are important to validate in fiction, too. This is just the one I work into my own books most often.
