I largely agree with this tweet--a few years ago, I would have said I fully agree with it! Tbc, I'm not QTing to attack in the least. But I wanna jump off & add some 102 additional nuance stuff ^_^

This thread comes after many years living as a femme person in sOcIeTy as it were https://twitter.com/didic/status/1345248521977532416

I completely agree with the basic level of this. First of all, 99 times out of 100, when I see sexual violence fiction it's either used in a cliche way to show "bad guy bad", or it's used to titillate, or BOTH

And that is just NEVER good. Ever. Cliches suck already, and sure sometimes we all include one or two, but using a widely triggering cliche WHY WHY WHY. It's lazy writing & exhausting reading, just stop

I too have put down SO MANY books -- or finished but held a MAJOR grudge against them -- bc of unnecessary sexual violence. So many. I absolutely agree that removing huge swathes of sexual assault from fantasy would make it loads, LOADS better, as a genre

And years ago, I would have said whyyyyy would I myself ever write a book with sexual violence in it when I can imagine a world where that doesn't happen???? (while still acknowledging books "about" that as valuable & necessary but seeing them as separate)

The thing is.... I'm a femme person & I live in in the world. IRL, there's been.... a lot, not all of which I shall talk about in public, on Twitter.

And even just talking generally, & only within my own experience, I've also worked in particularly regressive industries....

In my industries, even for people who don't experience the worst things -- still piles & piles of sexism, jokes, touching, peeping, dick pics, grabbing, inappropriate requests, inappropriate pressuring -- all like wallpaper. So much that we barely even realize how much it happens

Plus the like.... just living in the world as a femme person, the things we grow up aware of. Watch your drink. Don't walk at night. Carry your keys in your hand. To report or not to report....

Basically, this song. THIS BEEN THE DAMN WORLD.

So fast forward ten years and like.... this is not a thing that takes over my life, my life is not "about" any of this, but it IS a thing that is part of my life. And yeah, it can be.... exhausting.

and...

and, I started to resent my own long-held belief that I "shouldn't" write it. That I "should" imagine a better world. Because what if I want to examine a world like this one? The one *I* have to live in?

Because--THIS BEEN THE DAMN WORLD. *My* real-life world. Only one I got.

Mind you, there are still times I don't want to write it.

And even more times I don't want to read it, at all.

But this stuff is messy, and complicated, and has more parts to it than just that (for me at least).

So for the first time now, I'm writing a fantasy world that's heavily patriarchal & that *does* include threats of sexual violence. Because I'm angry, and all this chips away at me, after so many years and times. And I decided I wanted to explore it.

The book is not "about" any of that. It's also intensely feminist & from a femme/queer POV.

(Also! I am *always* completely ok with people noping out bc of any sexual violence at all. And once it comes out, people are also ofc free to think I'm not doing it as well as I hoped.)

Anyway, I think all that's the 102 to this sentiment. If you're unsure, or if this stuff is academic to you, then stick with the 101 and don't include it. And of course well-done stories "about" sexual violence are hugely important voices

But --

But I think there's space, or there *has* to be, for us -- particularly those of us in society to whom this stuff is personal and/or pervasive -- I think there MUST be space for us to explore gradations of this. Sometimes in ways that aren't the point of the book, but still there

Because it's there for US. And sometimes we want to, have to, explore that, even in works that don't revolve around this one thing. Even (especially!) when it's not a big part of the book at all

(Acknowledging again that some people will want to nope out still & that's ok.)

And I think some good rules for including sexual violence are things like always, *always* being thoughtful about the inclusion. Questioning oneself hard.

And I think erring heavily on the side of NOT doing it is a good rule of thumb.

But I also don't want anyone else for whom THIS BEEN THE DAMN WORLD to feel policed for writing that into the fabric of their worlds and stories.

That is all! Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.