Re. Alexander Wang: So one of the things he’s been accused of happened to me. A gay colleague relentlessly pestered me for a dick pic; kept asking me to describe it (even in front of an old man I was assisting with washing / dressing) despite my protestations...>
...and eventually grabbed hold of my dick as I was walking past and yanked it. So I chinned him with a milk jug. I still can’t conceptualise it as sexual assault in my head because at no point did I feel threatened; I knew I could easily overpower him. BUT it was the first...>
...time I felt sexually ‘used’ by another person. Like I was a walking sex toy he could manhandle. And I was hyper-aware of how I was ‘presenting’ myself for the rest of the shift. The way I was standing. The way I was walking. I could always sense him glomming onto to...>
...me. I thought “Fucking hell. Is this what it’s like for women a lot of the time? Because I’d be permanently unsettled.” It was exhausting. There’s been a couple of other things like that but, again, I can’t think of it as ASSAULT or whatever. Which isn’t to trivialise...>
...it in the slightest. I wanted to deal with it myself. I didn’t want to be a pussy and get anyone else involved. So that’s the route I took. And he ended up coming into work drunk and digitally raping a female colleague. I should have made bigger deal of his behaviour. >
Anyway, despite all of that, at no point would I have framed it this way; that it’s a problem with the way gay men conduct themselves.
I’ve know and have known many gay men and it’s the only time anything like that happened.
I never once ascribed his...>
I’ve know and have known many gay men and it’s the only time anything like that happened.
I never once ascribed his...>
...terrible fucking behaviour to his sexual orientation. It wasn’t “typical gay guys”; it was typical him. And there were always red flags leading up to it. He was a bad cunt - he wasn’t a bad gay cunt.
P.s. Actually, it wasn’t the first time I felt “sexually used” but the other times are a bit more complicated. It wasn’t cut’n’dry. And, unlike this w/ my colleague, it was consensual.