After the underfunded, poorly managed shambles that was nursing school (and placement) I was told, "Dont worry, you learn how to be a nurse in your first year". Then why isn't there a robust syllabus for #NQNs? I feel like I've been thrown to the lions. #NQN #RCNNQN 1/n

(Disclaimer: My current team is lovely, but that doesnt negate the fact that as soon as your two weeks supernumery finishes, you're just a cog in a broken, understaffed machine that assumes that 25% dropout is ok and survives on the goodwill of its employees). 2/n

I feel like my learning has been my responsibility from the beginning. If I can't teach myself everything then I'm not nurse material but surely that is an utter abdication of responsibility by the profession? I AM learning through experience but at what cost? 3/n

It goes without saying that posters on the wall shouldnt replace taught classes and mentoring. And, the awful dawning realisation that I have a yawning gap in my knowledge shouldnt come when I'm in front of a patient... 4/n

I'm a living example of "you dont know what you dont know" & it is incredibly demoralising.
From a hugely enthusiastic career change into nursing in my 40s I now often despair and, post shift, am full of doubt that I can spend the rest of my working life feeling like this. 5/n

This has been triggered by my partner just asking, "What's wrong? And I said, "Nothing". But actually it's everything, the entirety of current nursing culture is wrong...but I don't want to get into it on my post night day. 6/n

(NB: No patients were harmed, I speak up when I need help and work within my abilities.) Also I'll probably delete this in 5 minutes...