Seeing this picture doing the rounds lately, the one of Johnson 'Doing Science'

I'm not being facetious here; in my experience, that's exactly what media types call it, "Doing Science". It's a personal bugbear. Probably because I was once on the receiving end of it

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/1

Back in the 'aughts, I was part of a TV show about the Welsh (well, Cardiff) comedy scene. It was for BBC Wales. If you've not seen it, don't worry about it

I was working on my PhD at the time, as well as doing stand-up. Which probably says a lot about my academic prospects

/2

The show was a sort of part X-Factor contest, part Fly-On-The-Wall documentary. I learned a great deal about how the media works by being part of it

Not in any way that was intended, of course. More a series of "...seriously? This is how it's done?" revelations.

/3

I'll be the first to admit I was never the best stand-up. Always preferred writing material to performing it, hence the whole 'author' thing now, I guess. And the programme makers felt the same, that I was unremarkable.

/4

But then, they discovered I was doing a neuroscience doctorate, and they changed their tune. "A comedian, who's a SCIENTIST? Whoever heard of such a thing!"

I mean, it was fairly common even then, but why let facts get in the way of a pre-existing conclusion, eh?

/5

The upshot of this was, they wanted to include me more in the show. And to this end, they wanted footage of me 'doing science'.

This is the exact phrase they used, repeatedly. Doing science.

/6

They wanted to film me working in the lab. I said that a secure climate-controlled research facility running multiple sensitive delicate experiments wouldn't allow a clueless regional TV camera crew to wander in and get in everyone's face

They said "It'll be fine"

/7

Narrator: "It was not fine"

/8

Rebuffed by an actual lab, they didn't give up. They spoke to the university, and got access to an 'empty' lab, so they could film me 'doing science'.

Again, that phrase.

So, off I schlepped to another university building, to be filmed 'doing science' while talking comedy

/9

Here's a still from the scene of me 'doing science'

Note:

The lab coat

The gloves

The microscope

The glass beaker

The electrophoresis machine (behind me)

Safe to say, this is MAXIMUM science!

Also, ignore my disturbingly youthful visage. It's long gone

/10

Aside: the 'lab' this is filmed in is actually a teaching room. It's purely for demonstration and practical experiments, no actual research happens there.

It's also a lab I used to work in and help run when I was a technician.

/11

Interestingly, the lab in this picture was also seen in Doctor Who, 'The Lazarus Experiment', a mutated Mark Gatiss monster chases our heroes through it

It's still a bit annoying that, to this day, that room has better TV credits than I do.

/12

But here's the thing. I'm a neuroscientist. My research involved studying behavioural patterns, memory recall, occasionally staining and analysing neurological samples, statistical assessment

None of this looks good on camera, though. But that 'didn't matter'.

/13

They just needed footage of me, again, 'Doing Science'

So, I had to talk to the camera, while occasionally looking down the (inactive) microscope, all while pipetting distilled water from one sample tray to another, and back again

Like a scientist does, apparently

/14

That would have been bad enough, but once we'd gone over my (limited) comedy experiences and (non-existent) comedy plans, they started asking me about the science I was doing in front of them, and to explain why I was doing it

/15

I felt this crossed a line, because THEY SET IT ALL UP! They put the microscope and pipettes etc. in place, and told me to 'do science' while I spoke to them, and now they're expecting me to spin a whole methodology out of thin air for them? Balls to that

/16

My response was "Why am I doing this? Well, because you put all in front of me and told me to 'do science' while I talked to you, hence I'm looking at this microscope randomly while moving small amounts of water about".

Weirdly, they seemed fine about that as an answer

/17

They even started saying "What are you looking at under the microscope? Can we film it?"

Me: "Well, nothing, and no. It's not on, and there's no slides to look at even if it were. Because that's how YOU set it up".

/18

Barely any of it made the final cut, predictably, so it was a massive waste of everyone's time really

But still, it's made me really wary of media portrayals of 'science' to this day. And I do think it's a serious issue that needs addressing if possible

/19

Despite the many efforts to challenge it, this idea that 'Scientist = someone in a lab coat looking at samples" persists, and is regularly reinforced. And it does us no favours, particularly in this pandemic + 'expertise can be ignored if you don't like it' era

/20

I spent nearly 5 years getting my PhD. But based on what I've experienced in the mainstream, I could have spent 5 minutes buying a lab coat and achieved the same amount of credibility. And that's not how anything should work.

/21

And that's why images like this are dangerous

We KNOW Johnson has no time for details, analysis, understanding etc. And we know he's no qualms about ignoring science if it suits him

But look, he's in a lab coat and has safety goggles! So, he must be taking it seriously

/22

Maybe that conclusion's a bit of a stretch? Probably

But when scientific expertise is constantly reduced to the shorthand of 'lab coat and assorted technical accoutrements', it becomes very easy, for those inclined to do so, to co-opt and exploit that

/23

And that, I feel, is bad. Especially during a pandemic, when we need scientific advances more than ever, and where so many are already spreading disinformation with impunity

Point is, you need way more than a lab coat when 'doing science'.

/end