The influence of friends on your self esteem & growth is often under rated. Some years ago, I had a friend who always focused on what was wrong with things I did or wore. My shirt was too big, my punctuation insufficient, etc. I began to unconsciously second guess myself. Thread

I used him as a learning pad for mastering the art of shutting up people who habitually offered unsolicited & uncomplimentary remarks. Cutting him off helped change many things. On one’s growth journey, the content you take in about you, even from childhood, impact your psyche.

It is important to hang around those who celebrate your strengths & are also willing to help you improve on your weaknesses. The balance makes you better and more confident when dealing with new people. But those who dwell more on your weaknesses may ruin your confidence levels.

That experience is why I’m intentional about friendships. I am clear about where I’m going, so I cut you off if I see your energy rubs off badly on my journey. Many people in desperation to keep “fancy” friends end up with those who drain their positive energy for growth.

The notion that you must always be friends with those better than you can be misleading. That if you move with 5 millionaires, you’ll be the 6th. Not always true. That’s why at times, you see some people have been friends for years with successful people, yet they haven’t grown.

There is a huge part of growth that is intrinsic. And intrinsic ability to grow is dependent on what you feed your mind. The books, movies, conversations over beer, education, work environment, dating, etc. all serve as fertilizers. A rich friend isn’t necessarily good fertilizer

You can keep friends that are not better off than you on certain levels, but help you fertilize your seeds. Even legend has it that mad men are good providers of lucky winning numbers. Friendships should be focused on the content you feed me. Not the drinks you buy or the gram.

Do you feel innately better about yourself & your ability to grow from your interactions with friends? Do they cheer you & make you see that mountain isn’t so high? Or do you go home every time feeling less of yourself because your friends? This is food for thought for 2021. End