Food for thought. In a healthy relationship, you’ll most likely trigger each other. In fact, you might set off some of the worst triggers in one another, but not because the relationship is toxic (cont.).

It’s because you’ll suddenly be faced with the reality that the toxic behaviors you’ve come to expect in your partner, and the defenses you’ve built up to protect yourself from that perceived reality, are being proven false.

When the reality and defenses you’ve created from past trauma are being dismantled in front of you, your brain will try everything in its power to maintain that reality because, it thinks “DANGER! If I trust this person, and something happens, I’ll be injured.”

So when you’re with someone healthy, who loves you and is willing to work through that trauma, of course you’ll be triggered. The very act of being on a healthy relationship is triggering, because you’re realizing that you can be safe.

It’s less frightening to manage expectations of fear and disappointment than to face the fear of something wonderful being ripped away because you didn’t prepare yourself.

Fear is normal, just don’t let it deprive you of something good. Don’t allow the pain and trauma someone else put you through to prevent you from accepting love from someone wonderful.