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Twitter can cause comparison overload and ruin you if you’re not careful.
Here’s how to stop comparing yourself to others and start thriving: (THREAD)
Here’s how to stop comparing yourself to others and start thriving: (THREAD)
1/ Let's start with an experiment.
How would you feel if I gave you this car for free?
How would you feel if I gave you this car for free?
2/ You would be pretty happy, wouldn’t you?
But what if you found out that I gave your friends their choice of any car they wanted for free?
But what if you found out that I gave your friends their choice of any car they wanted for free?
3/ Suddenly, you’re not as happy are you? You may even feel angry and blindsided.
This quick experiment illustrates the comparative nature of happiness. Either way, you still get the same car, yet you don’t feel as happy when you compare it to what your friends got.
Why?...
This quick experiment illustrates the comparative nature of happiness. Either way, you still get the same car, yet you don’t feel as happy when you compare it to what your friends got.
Why?...
4/ Comparing yourself to others is in our DNA
It helped our ancestors survive.
We compare ourselves to others to make accurate evaluations of ourselves.
It helped our ancestors survive.
We compare ourselves to others to make accurate evaluations of ourselves.
5/ Compared to most animals, we are slow, hairless, defenseless creatures.
Survival depended on making an accurate assessment of what other people were thinking. If I knew where I stood in the tribe, I knew how to behave to gain access to resources and not get killed.
Survival depended on making an accurate assessment of what other people were thinking. If I knew where I stood in the tribe, I knew how to behave to gain access to resources and not get killed.
6/ Ancestors grew up in bands of 50–200 people, so our brains are hardwired to only keep track of about 150.
Anything beyond that becomes part of the faceless mass known as “they.” “They” existed outside your immediate sphere of influence.
Anything beyond that becomes part of the faceless mass known as “they.” “They” existed outside your immediate sphere of influence.
7/ Fast forward to today, you still have the same nervous monkey brain, but there are zero boundaries for who or what you can come into contact with. This leads to envy and self-doubt.
8/ The irony is that people edit their online persona to look like their life is more exciting and full of joy than it actually is, so you end up comparing your behind-the-scenes internal monologue with their public highlight reel.
9/ Every day we are bombarded with images of the unattainable ideal:
Gorgeous genetic anomalies are photographed with perfect lighting, photoshopped, and plastered on every advertisement and magazine cover.
Bitcoin billionaires promote FOMO.
Gorgeous genetic anomalies are photographed with perfect lighting, photoshopped, and plastered on every advertisement and magazine cover.
Bitcoin billionaires promote FOMO.
10/ These people are basically unbeatable rivals. To compare yourself to them is a losing game.
11/ Use it as fuel - Don’t play it safe and settle:
In small doses, comparison can light a fire under our ass to improve our lives, but in our hyper-connected world, it’s more likely to cause envy, distrust, anxiety, and depression.
In small doses, comparison can light a fire under our ass to improve our lives, but in our hyper-connected world, it’s more likely to cause envy, distrust, anxiety, and depression.
12/ This may be why Forbes’ richest Americans have about the same level of happiness as the Amish.
-The billionaires reached the impossible ideal.
-The Amish are off the grid so that comparison isn’t even a part of their consciousness.
-The billionaires reached the impossible ideal.
-The Amish are off the grid so that comparison isn’t even a part of their consciousness.
13/ OK SO WHAT'S THE SOLUTION?!
14/
Solution 1) Be Grateful for What You Already Have
Solution 1) Be Grateful for What You Already Have
15/ If you’re reading this, I’m guessing you have a home — with running water, and access to education, whether in school or online.
Congratulations, you are among the top 8% wealthiest people on Earth.
Congratulations, you are among the top 8% wealthiest people on Earth.
16/ People who write down 3 things they are grateful for every night are happier.
By focusing on what you already have, you train your mind to come from a place of abundance.
By focusing on what you already have, you train your mind to come from a place of abundance.
17) Every time you find yourself thinking, “If I just get a good grade on this test/if I just get this girl/If I just make a six-figure salary, etc., I’ll be happy” — catch yourself, challenge it, and be present.
Live in the moment; you are right where you’re supposed to be.
Live in the moment; you are right where you’re supposed to be.
18/ “Happiness is not having what you want. It is wanting what you have.” — Anon
19/ Our imagination got us out of the caves, but it is the source of most modern unhappiness. Numerous studies demonstrate that we are notoriously bad at predicting what will make us happier in the future.
20/ Big life events like winning the lottery or getting in a bad car crash do have effects that can last years or longer, but not as big as you’d think. Life is full of ups and downs, and we generally adapt to them pretty quickly.
21) The difference in quality of life depends on how we respond to each situation.
Option 1: Feel helpless and blame society/genetics/family for our problems and not even try.
Option 2: View failure as another word for learning and continually grow each day.
Option 1: Feel helpless and blame society/genetics/family for our problems and not even try.
Option 2: View failure as another word for learning and continually grow each day.
22/
SOLUTION 2: FOCUS ON YOUR STRENGTHS
SOLUTION 2: FOCUS ON YOUR STRENGTHS
23/ As cliché as it sounds it’s true: There is no one on Earth better at being you than you.
People who focus on cultivating their strengths are happier and more successful than people who focus on compensating for their weaknesses.
People who focus on cultivating their strengths are happier and more successful than people who focus on compensating for their weaknesses.
24/ “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” — Anonymous
25/
SOLUTION 3: FOCUS ON SERVING OTHERS
SOLUTION 3: FOCUS ON SERVING OTHERS
26/ Our overly social brain can be a curse, but it can also be a gift. You have mirror neurons that fire off the same way whether you watch an action or perform the action yourself. 
27/ When you see someone in pain, you feel it on a gut level.
When you connect with others and make them feel good, you feel good — it’s a win/win situation.
When you connect with others and make them feel good, you feel good — it’s a win/win situation.
28/ Boosting others up, boosts your self-worth.
Be kind to others and try to appreciate their positive traits. This turns off your internal ranking system.
You subconsciously start feeling more positive about yourself.
Mindset: We're all figuring this out together.
Be kind to others and try to appreciate their positive traits. This turns off your internal ranking system.
You subconsciously start feeling more positive about yourself.
Mindset: We're all figuring this out together.
29/ People can sense you’re coming from a non-judgmental place, and they’ll put their guard down.
From there, an amazing self-fulfilling prophecy of positivity unfolds.
From there, an amazing self-fulfilling prophecy of positivity unfolds.
30/
SOLUTION 4: ENJOY THE JOURNEY, NOT THE DESTINATION.
SOLUTION 4: ENJOY THE JOURNEY, NOT THE DESTINATION.
31/ We're brainwashed to buy into the “if-then” model of happiness.
We’re sold “magic pills'' for weight-loss, relationships, and success.
Apps are addictive; yummy warm dopamine machines.
We expect instant gratification.
We’re sold “magic pills'' for weight-loss, relationships, and success.
Apps are addictive; yummy warm dopamine machines.
We expect instant gratification.
32/ "The really happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery when on a detour.” — Unknown
33/ When you die, you won’t be able to take your possessions with you. Your time and energy are too precious to waste on impressing other people.
34/ The number one regret people have on their death bed is, “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
35/ In the end, you are only truly competing with yourself.
Embrace your current circumstances and embrace yourself.
Embrace your current circumstances and embrace yourself.
36/ When you find the balance between self-acceptance and goal-setting, external pleasantries will follow, but they will simply be the cherry on top of your already delicious sundae.
