Thread by @Fangirling_0nly, 36 years and counting as a ‘[True] Star Wars Fan’+ A Rant [...]

36 years and counting as a ‘[True] Star Wars Fan’

+ A Rant about modern gatekeeping

A Thread:

In 1977, my mom heard about Star Wars through some sci-fi fanzines she read, and convinced my dad (her then-boyfriend) to go see it. When they married in 1978, their recessional music was the throne room theme. 2/

I was born in 1984, and one of my earliest memories was watching a VHS copy of Return of the Jedi at daycare. When my parents eventually got all 3 OT films on video, they sat me and my sister down and made us watch them as part of our film education. 3/

Truthfully, at no point in my childhood do I recall ANYONE telling me I couldn’t like Star Wars because I was a girl. My family of mostly girls was constantly rewatching the films and quoting them at one another in everyday conversation (“Stay on target...” was a favorite). 4/

When the Special Editions came out in theaters, we all went to see them together and enjoyed the new effects, but were VERY indignant that Han shooting first had been changed. Still, the prequels had already been announced by then and we were SO EXCITED for them! 5/

TPM would be released just a few days before my 15th birthday, so my girlfriends & I held a Star Wars sleepover in preparation. We marathoned the trilogy, smacked each other with lightsabers, said dirty things into Millennium Falcon voice recorders, & ate Dark/Lightside M&Ms. 6/

This was before midnight showings became common and we weren’t the types to skip school, so we all gave one girl’s mom cash so she could go stake out the box office and get us tickets to the first showing of Episode 1. Then we all showed up with our lightsabers and Leia buns. 7/

And OOOOOH man, the screams in the theater when the lights went down and the sparkly Lucasfilm logo came up! The cheering for the title crawl! The whooping when Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan first took out their lightsabers! The energy was unmatched! 8/

I won't pretend that I thought TPM was a very good movie when it came out, but there was lots to love about it and I've warmed to it even more as the years have passed. Regardless, I wouldn't trade that theater experience for anything. 9/

The wait between movies during the prequel era was agonizing, so I tried turning to the EU novels during this time on the recommendation of a few girlfriends who read them. I would huddle in the back of a bookstore, scanning the Star Wars section for something exciting. 10/

Unfortunately, I never could get into those books. I tried, but Thrawn, Mara Jade, & the Solo kids just never quite captured my attention the way that the films had. The books I read felt like an entirely different genre & the film characters were often unrecognizable to me. 11/

But by the release of AOTC, my obsession was in full-swing again. I was a 17-year-old girl and Star Wars was about to do a central romance with gorgeous lead actors, and the marketing leaned WAY into that. I worked at a theater & would stare at those banners for hours in awe. 12/

That year, I was taking a psychology class with a teacher who was a massive SW fan and would give extra credit for SW trivia questions on quizzes. I remember when he found out I was a fan, he was SO excited and kept trying to stump me (he didn't)! 13/

My AP Psychology test was scheduled for the AOTC release date, which meant the midnight showing would be only hours before the test! So I took my psych book to the theater and studied for the hour or so before the movie started. But at one point, I heard my name... 14/

... and I turned around and there was my psych teacher in the row behind me!

He asked "Don't you have a test tomorrow?"
Me: "...Yes"
Him: "But you're at Star Wars?"
Me: "...Yes"
Him: *smiles* "Good girl"

And for the record, I did fine on the test.

15/

At college, I first experienced fandom gatekeeping. It was an art school with a large VFX dpt and the M/F ratio was 4:1 or larger in most majors. Guys were nearly always testing my knowledge, and social currency was either being very pretty or being "not like other girls." 16/

As a 2D animation student and Star Wars fan, I was SO EXCITED for Genndy Tartakovsky's Clone Wars, which filled in the gap between AOTC & ROTS, ending just 2 months before Episode III. To this day, I regret that it has been decanonized, as I really prefer it to TCW (sorry?). 17/

Finally, ROTS was released in my junior year, and I found it extremely emotional. IMO, it's the best film that George Lucas has ever made, and my appreciation of it has only increased over the years. Finally, the story of the Skywalkers had been told in full. I was satisfied. 18/

I got married in 2008, and later that year The Clone Wars premiered in theaters. Honestly, I hated it and had zero interest in watching more of the show. As an animator, I was so put off by the clunky visuals that I just couldn't get into the story (although I did later). 19/

When I heard that Disney had bought Star Wars, I was cautiously optimistic and excited for a new theme park, but my attention had also drifted elsewhere. As far as I was concerned, the Skywalker Saga was a satisfying, intact story, and I didn't need more. 20/

TFA was set to be released on my due date with my second baby, and since hubs and I were both Star Wars fans, there was a lot of discussion about how and when we would see the movie given that I would either be immediately postpartum or VERY pregnant. 21/

Our daughter was born a week early, and thankfully another couple who were also SW fans came over and watched our toddler and newborn so we could go to the movie! I had to pump milk in advance and I was in pain by the time we got home, but it was worth it! 22/

My reaction to TFA could be characterized as "That was fun." It was kind of mindless and empty to me, but I enjoyed it. I will say I HATED the speculation over who Rey was related to, from the beginning! But I was content to see where the story led from there. 23/

Rogue One was a masterpiece! While I missed the hype of the opening crawl, I thought it beautifully captured the spirit of the OT, and found the ending emotional and satisfying. It's actually my favorite film of the Disney era (calm down TLJ fans, I'm getting there...). 24/

By the time TLJ came out, hubs and I were used to seeing movies separately since babysitters are hard to come by. As such, he saw it before I did and had to keep spoilers to himself for a couple of days. I LOVED the movie, and was surprised by the direction it took. 25/

But when hubs picked me up afterward...

Him: "So, what did you think?"
Me: "I loved it!"
Him: "Me too! Don't go online though."
Me: "Why not?"
Him: "People who liked it at first are being convinced to hate it."
Me: "Why?!"
Him: "They don't like how Luke was portrayed." 26/

That made no sense given the SCREAMS of excitement in the theater at many moments throughout TLJ, but whatever. A few days later I braved subzero temps and massive snow drifts to walk to the theater (where the heat was broken!) to watch it a second time. 27/

My Star Wars obsession was back in FULL FORCE (pun intended) as I started to get hyped up for the final film in the Skywalker Saga. I was totally invested in Rey Nobody and Prodigal Son Ben Solo, and I started seeking out like-minded fans online. 28/

Suddenly, I discovered that there was a MASSIVE community of enthusiastic Sequel Trilogy fans who had created reams of scholarship delving into the thematic and symbolic elements of Star Wars, not to mention piles of incredible fanart and fanfics! My people, the Reylos! 29/

As Ep9 approached, I threw myself into that fandom, following podcasts, writing meta, and generally annoying everyone I knew with my SW hype. For the Celebration cast panel, I booked a conference room at my office and invited any other SW fans to attend and watch the trailer. 30/

Like most Reylos, I had a lot of confidence in TROS to have a satisfying ending. I wasn't expecting great cinema, but it seemed like it would be hard to fumble the major beats. And while I was aware of the toxic F*ndom Men*ace types, I was sure that DLF would ignore them.

31/

While we waited, I watched the new Mandalorian series, but found that only the first 4 episodes really appealed to me. I didn't mind since I was used to not consuming much outside the main saga anyway, I and was sure TROS would deliver... 32/

My reaction to TROS (several months of depression) has been documented elsewhere, but what still baffles me is that it seemed expressly made to appeal to the fans who HATED the ST, while alienating the fans who LOVED the ST. And it failed even at that. 33/

Since then, every interview with Lucasfilm creatives and every decision made by the company seems to be based on the same intent: exclusively appeal to the angry, predominantly white male fans who hated TLJ, Lucasian themes and lessons be damned. 34/

And now we have none other than Luke Skywalker himself, M*rk H*mill, saying the quiet part out loud and declaring that "true fans" would love the Mando Luke sequence. When did "true fan" come to mean "having approved SW opinions" instead of just enjoying SW? 35/

I dare you to tell me after 36 years as a Star Wars fan that I am not REALLY a SW fan just because I don't care for some of the recent Lucasfilm offerings. And you know what? If you disagree with every opinion I've listed here, but you still like SW, you're a true fan too. 36/36

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