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Ah, Tommy Docherty has died. Such a lovely man. I once did an after-dinner alongside him for Celtic FC, back when I was pretty new, while Martin O’ Neill was manager. He gave a great speech and I was on later, by which time the crowd were more eager to hear from Martin (1/n)
I just have looked pretty nervous when my turn came around because Tommy leaned over and whispered “Don’t worry! If it isn’t going well just make a joke about me sleeping with the physio’s wife!” (Which happened while he was at Man United; they later married). So I get up... 2/n
I do some of my cast-iron Catholic-Protestant material, it all drops to silence. Nada off the crowd. It’s getting a bit awkward.
So, remembering the advice, I said “Great to see Martin and the entire management team here tonight....” HUGE around of applause... 3/n
So, remembering the advice, I said “Great to see Martin and the entire management team here tonight....” HUGE around of applause... 3/n
“In fact” I continued, “the only member of the back-room team who isn’t here is the physio, who didn’t come because he was afraid Tommy might fuck his wife”
Massive laugh, round of applause.
I looked over at Tommy, who gave me a little wink and thumbs up. And... 4/n
Massive laugh, round of applause.
I looked over at Tommy, who gave me a little wink and thumbs up. And... 4/n
Having won them back, I went back to my actual proper material again, and.... died roaring. Didn’t get another laugh, slid off the stage. Still, Tommy Docherty, big handshake when I got back to the table. Sweetheart of a man. RIP.
