i extremely respect anyone's personal choice to not be referred to as "queer" but i think it's vital to know that the recent push to erase queer as a label originated in terf spaces https://twitter.com/roo_b_boy/status/1344472879711195137
specifically within the framing of "queer is a slur"-- while technically true, and many lgbt people do have a difficult or complex relationship with the word-- it erases the hard work the queer community has put in to reclaim it for ourselves.
terfs hate "queer" because they are obsessed with preserving false binaries, with rigidity, and i really want people to reflect on their aversion to queer and assess whether or not they've unintentionally drunk that coolaid
this is not to say that people don't have other reasons to avoid queer, they absolutely do, I just think there can be a tendency, particularly with lgbtq youth, to pick up rhetoric like this without knowing its origins