Read on Twitter
Having had #thekid and survived a year of weird semi lockdowns and craziness, here is my suggestion for your New Year’s #resolution if you are with smn and u r considering starting a #family. TALK ABOUT IT IN DETAIL NOW. The truth is...
... you have zero idea what it means to have a child before you actually have them. I consider myself an adult and had no clue. Nevertheless, there are some themes you should specifically and openly explore as a couple before u throw caution and condoms to the wind.
Talk about #childcare. Not generically but specifically. Nappies, getting up, food prep, reading, doctors, comforting, reading stories etc. If your guy is more of a “children need their mother” type FUCKING RUN. If you’re good, move on to the next theme...
... talk about #housework. Again, be specific. Levels of comfort with chaos. Cleaning lady/ gentleman. Food prep. Who does the shopping. Who remembers to do the laundry. Most people want to “help” in theory only. Make the conversation super detailed. Thirdly...
... talk about your #career . Again BE SPECIFIC. Choices. Drop offs. Business travel. Money and career progression. U don’t want to be crying with a #baby hanging off your tit cause yr partner doesn’t know how to or why it’s important to get out of an irrelevant meeting on time.
Finally, talk about what you are prepared to do together to keep the relationship going. Before #thekid we were two independent adults. We r now a family, it’s a whole different ballgame and the level of exhaustion is unreal. Nobody things sexy underwear when they r half dead.
Basically I’m shocked that most of us start families with inadequate conversations over what it will mean to get there, how each of us sees the change and what we are prepared to give. As people who got together when we were old(er) ...
... my man and I had had many of these discussions before I actually got preggers but really, we probably needed a lot more. And to anyone about to joke that if people discussed all these things they probably wouldn’t have kids, good. They shouldn’t.
ESPECIALLY if you are a woman I’m telling you now: society expects you to grin and bear ANYTHING for your child and you will think along similar lines too. You research a company thoroughly before you join it, do the same for a man before you jump the gun.
Be aware that no matter how much you discuss this, parenthood will always come as a shock up to a point. Ultimately though we can only do our best so COMMUNICATE and prepare. Be a #feminist, protect yourself too. Happy New Year 
