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I love reading so many people’s commitment to stop drinking in the new year. I’m a couple years in to my life without alcohol (very very happily), and thought I’d share a few thoughts for anyone interested:
1/ Giving up alcohol has been one of the best decisions of my life. If you are looking for affirmation that it truly opens up your life, makes you feel healthier, increases thoughtfulness and eliminates blackout regret nights, it does!
2/ For some people, announcing that they’re quitting is helpful for accountability. For others (me!), it put on too much pressure, esp at the beginning, to think about it daily. The only person who needs to know you stopped is YOU.
3/ When out with friends (post pandemic plz), passing on a drink doesn’t have to be “I am sober now, I’m X weeks into it” but “I’m not drinking tonight - I’ll have Y instead.” You can talk about it, or you can NOT. That’s an option.
Because 4/ being a non drinker doesn’t need to be your entire identity. It’s one facet of who you are. But you’re probably also someone who doesn’t eat, say, runny eggs, or carpaccio - those eliminations aren’t your entire personality. Why should not drinking be?
5/ MORE PEOPLE ARE DOING THIS THAN YOU THINK. If you do choose to elaborate on why you aren’t drinking, you’ll likely find a LOT of support.
6/ Your level of comfort with alcohol is entirely for YOU to decide. For some, being around it at all is a trigger - that’s ok. For others, a sip here and there is fine and doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a non drinker.
7/ For instance, I had a champagne toast at my wedding. I didn’t feel set back and also didn’t need more. Becoming a non drinker means for me that when a celebratory sip does present itself, I no longer binge afterwards because “well, I already had one.”
8/ I do want to note that I speak as someone who was a casual/binge drinker. Varying levels of addiction may be helped by programs like AA (I’ve heard amazing things!) or in patient programs that can do WONDERS.
9/ You may know what type of resources you need, but you also may not - and that’s ok! Taking the first step to understand that alcohol doesn’t feel good to you anymore is so huge. I’m proud of you for that alone!
10/ The more time I spend away from drinking culture, the more I see how society and marketing gloss over how addictive and poisonous and unhealthy alcohol is, ESPECIALLY FOR WOMEN.
11/ Women - you aren’t less powerful if you don’t drink. You aren’t less sexy. You aren’t less able to hang with the guys or less likely to advance in your career. You’re gaining autonomy when you stop drinking.
12/ Not drinking will eliminate people from your life - but so has the pandemic. You have already done the hard work of shedding friends you kept around only because they were drinking buddies. This is a huge advantage!
13/ Managing expectations is HUGE. Not drinking isn’t a magic bullet that fixes everything in your life - but boy does it help. You will still experience sadness, grief, euphoria and determination. But it’ll be all you.
14/ You will face each of these emotions directly, not hiding behind a substance or reaching for a substance to traverse them. You get to experience the purest form of YOU.
15/ I lost someone to alcoholism last year and know personally the toll that decades of drinking can do to your body. Anytime I hear of someone deciding to give up drinking, I think “Thank god that won’t be their fate.”
16/ Wow I have so much more to write but thanks for reading and I’m super proud of you and excited to hear more about your journeys. Take it a day at a time. Be proud and resolute, but feel free to keep it internal and private. You are doing this for YOU.
