As 2020 closes, the pandemic journal started on March 17th to give to the baby someday is at 153k words. After so many years with my writing confined to the workplace it was good to dust off some freeform and get into the groove again. 1/12
It was a double-edged sword having to stay informed about all the suffering that was going on and it definitely took a significant emotional toll but if there is anything we know, it's that the pandemic will be minimalized in every way once its over. 2/12
The amount of deaths will be brushed off as unavoidable, & the actions/inactions taken by elected leaders, business leaders, education leaders which ensured we enter 2021 with far less people alive than we should, will be either ignored or dismissed as "that's politics baby" 3/12
This yr is never going to be looked upon fondly by ppl but I want him to know that while this shitstorm was going on, it wasn't ALL that was going on. I want him to know what happened, who was responsible but I don't want him to feel like he had bad timing or was a burden. 4/12
There were weekly happy hours, video calls with the grandparents, trips to breweries, a weekend in vermont, a week in maryland and ultimately the fact we got to spend his first six months with him and not cooped up at work while he was in daycare. 5/12
I want him to know that while we were relatively privileged the pandemic touched us all. People we were close to got sick, we had mask deniers and indoor diners among friends and family, we had fallings out with people, lost respect that can never be gained back. 6/12
I wanted him to know the sad music we listened to and happy shows we liked, the frazzled parent power hours, the maniacal laughter of talk shit get hit, the shivering happy hours on the dock, the city games we dressed him up for him to nap through. 7/12
If I was born into a cataclysm I'd want to know what it was like both with my mom inside & the severity of the conflagration outside. I've tried to do that & intend to until idk, fam reunion in july? Manchester in the fall? When I started I assumed election day would be it. 8/12
I want him to know that his parents were swept along with all of this, confused, angry, sad but strong and determined. I want him to know the joy he brought to everyone close to us- and even some strangers. 9/12
I want him to know we were failed by our leaders, that collecting a big paycheck at the top means jack shit, that cops are oafish, menacing villains, that american exceptionalism does not exist and that these are really the dark ages of the modern republic. 10/12
I want him to know about the friends we grew closer to and came to rely on, the endless package deliveries before and after his birth. I want him to know about his birth and how much of a goddamn shitshow THAT was. But most of all, what I really want him to know about is... 11/12
The motherfucking Buffalo Bills and the Great Lakes Caliphate. Happy 2021. 12/12