Can’t stop thinking about @cwknews and @BenjaminABoyce talking about what is the first step in transition. Parents can reflect on their role in promoting stereotypes, yes. But schools who socially trans kids behind parents’ backs are doing WAY more than just making the kids happy
My son’s school set him up with bras and fillers for those bras. That’s not about stereotyped clothing, that’s encouraging delusion. They helped him find affirming medical professionals who set up a network that eventually led him to HRT.
These aren’t harmless steps. The school also taught his sister and all his friends that believing their own eyes and minds was transphobic. Where’s the critical thinking there?
The school normalized transition as an expected, healthy next step for his feelings of confusion. Guest speakers shared their euphoria about starting HRT. One guest speaker was a parent who cried and berated his past self for having trouble seeing his son as a girl.
The school ensured that any staff who had doubts kept those doubts firmly to themselves. I like to think that maybe just one teacher questioned that my shy, smart, nerdy, athletic, thoughtful boy was really a girl, but I’ll never know. They all affirmed.
The school nurse and the GSA leader gave presentations that helped destroy the extremely close and loving relationship we had with our son. They made our concern seem like abuse. They also glorified suicide by highlighting kids who’d taken their lives bc “parents didn’t affirm”.
So yes, I will take responsibility for buying my son blue shirts when he was a kid. I encouraged his love for playing with toy cars and skateboards and climbing in the rafters. I ALSO encouraged his love of cooking, his tender care of animals, his gentle hugs and frequent tears.
I never had a chance to help him when he discovered (online) that he was really a girl. I wasn’t allowed to be a part of the picture, other than in my role as the villain.
The school did the work of helping his social transition. They used my son to feed their egos. They created a fantasy so everyone could feel better, and now 5yrs later, he’s still miserable and doesn’t know why. It just breaks my heart to think of the mess they made.
I fully agree with Stephanie’s statement that gender stereotypes are the beginning. The conversation did, however, bring to mind the long-lasting harms my son’s school created when they nurtured his feelings.