I'm teaching my partner about mental load by making him do the thinking. He's finding it stressful and overwhelming, so I'm going to teach you all too.

A thread.

/1

Mental load is the thinking primarily women have to do in order to have everything done round the house. For instance, cooking a meal isn't a case of opening a fridge and food is there (although that would be cool). The process is:

/2

1) think of meal, find recipe, ingredients, have fridge space etc
2) plan trip to shop to get meal in time, check best before dates, get other food you need for basic life
3) bring it home, pack it all away, make sure you have everything
4) cook it with equipment you have..

/3

4) (cont) and make sure you have storage for left overs, clean pots and pans, clean plates, working oven and hob and kitchen space, clean cloths, tea towels etc

The thought and energy and preparation for one meal isn't simply "go to the shop and cook". It's a lot more.
/4

This is the same for anything. When I want to clean, I need to have the equipment, the energy, the idea of what I'm doing and then doing it. I need to know when I cleaned last, what needs doing today, if it's the right time to do washing. It's not a case of pick up and go /5

For many men, they're raised with everything done for them. They don't have to buy the equipment, they don't have to think beyond "what am I eating right now?" This means that partners have to pick up the slack and parent their partner. This is tiring as a disabled person
/6

A litmus test for if you're one of these people:

Tell me step by step how you clean a microwave, including the cleaning equipment, where you get it from, how to clean it and what else you need to do after cleaning it. If you can't bc executive function, fair.
/7

If you live alone or with a partner and are mentally and physically able to clean a microwave but couldn't tell me how (because you don't, not because of disability) then you may need to consider the mental load distribution in your household.
/8

In mine, I have to give the task and explain the task to my abled and capable partner. However, they still don't look around a room and see what needs doing, they just guess at sweeping and leave it at that, whilst I see everything else but my body doesn't let me do it. /End