It was a stinker for millions of people, truly horrible, but paradoxically 2020 was the best year of my life.

Our family grew up loads, spent more time together and on stuff that matters to us. And we started loads of new projects that we are excited about for the future.

Yes, we are off the scale lucky to live on a farm and in a beautiful place.

But lockdown actually made us stay home and stop being distracted and genuinely enjoy it and the simple things around us.

And we massively cut down the distractions and time on the school run...

Which meant my wife had more time to do her own thing instead of slaving away supporting the rest of us

And so for the first time in 15 years she isn’t whacked out and spent, and got to get her life back as more than a brilliant mum/wife - and I’ve loved that

And our place is hectic with visitors and that’s an honour and a privilege - but it also tires you out and fills your days with noise

So lockdown had a lot more quieter days to actually farm and write or just do simple things with the kids

And yep I feel a bit guilty to say I loved the year, when so many other people didn’t/couldn’t

But I’m not being smug, just thankful and taking the positives from the strangeness - we’d gotten a bit stuck in a rut, and it yanked us back to what we really care about

I have also struggled for years with trying to be several different people all at the same time

And I think this year I realised that I haven’t the energy to do everything anymore - I can’t write books at 2am in the morning, and be a good dad/husband and farm and hustle 2 jobs

I love, really really bloody love, writing and I need to change my life to give that the time it requires

And if that means a simpler farm, or hiring more help, or cutting back so be it - I’m not 20 years old any more and I don’t have anything to prove to anyone

So all my passion for the farm will carry on, and am really excited to keep making changes and doing that well... but need to give the other me the time and space as well

AND support Mrs R more as she is an amazingly creative smart person and is due some payback for her projects

In truth I’ve been ‘we are saving the farm at all costs for 30+ years’ and everyone around me paid a price for that

But it is saved, it’s going to be fine, and now it’s time to get a bit more balance in our lives

(I think I may almost be a grown up - how disappointing)

Happy New Year folks